songanddancegirl

death becomes them?

what many don’t understand is that

when u pull the plug on a loved one   or 3

u pull the plug on yourself

how could it be otherwise?  Your leftfoot

remains at the edge of said precipice for

some 18 months   give or take

you are now fearless re: the big bangless bang

you realize  the futility  the utter absurdity

of staving it off     (as if)

also  you intimately know  how an entire existence

is snuffed out   the grandeur  the devastatio   the name

in one second   gone   never to be another

Harry Lee

Frieda

Martino

Me

you flirt with the shrewish reap   who doles out

the elixir of sleep   you fuck with your parachute

eat tenders  kick the halfnaked crossing-guard in her  lardbelly

go ahead  arrest me!  kill me!  run me over!

the peace of that crooked smile  beguiles

the frozenvisage   dentures in place  (I can’t remove them..she might bite me..)

rigored fingers

bewitch

+beckon

our dead  our heroes  who have gone where we

fear to tread   now become extraordinary  +brave

face it   death   (especially murder)    thrills us

but here you are  left standing  yet again  dickinhand

at the pearly gates   with a  HUGE  craving  for

 sex+candy

__

..the courage to die is the test of the courage to live.. (AAC+Socrates..)

Summer 2023  ..enough already with the death thing..

The Hoopin Reaper

i lay around in leather shorts  a transmuted  Beard

hooping has messed with my head   you see  i came up

in the bubble

you remember?  when we couldn’t leave our homes

pestilencepolice everywhere  drag u in for a nose-rape

+body cavity-search

as we lay hunkered   we each took to separate screens

mine played the NBA   24 hrs a day   the scent of death

wafting

what i’ve mostly learned in these covidtimes: if death becomes

you   you want me on your team!   I am  clutch   the thing is

even if you’re only a little bit dead    i will go  Kavorkian

pull the plug

pick+roll

a little euro

Oh  i have moves

that make the Reaper

weep

__

rage rage against the dying of the light  (Dylan Thomas 1937)

Spring 2023 ..i am not crying now..i am nothing.. (As I Lay Dying.. W. Faulkner 1930)

my fling with Cormac McCarthy cancelled

Cormac dead at 89  yesterday   drifted away

in Santa Fe  my bags were packed  +stalking

him was my main concern

there is much gore  in Cormac’s books:

a slit throated baby  one eyegouged   men

on the range   sodomized+smiling

deathmasked minions  wink

McCarthy captures the nuanced depravity of

the gibbering ape  written in blood  sometimes

dripping off of   a big RED sun

baking that blood into creosote+interstices  into

the earth’s DNA   mamas don’t let your babies be

cowboys    or inhabit the cabins of Appalachia

all serial killered  +incested    Cormac knew that

we are mostly not human   we are the only species

on the planet  who kill for pleasure

who among you has not tortured a frog?

__

..a dark smile erupted on the child’s throat ..it hung there

black blood pumping down its naked belly..the mute one was

drooling  he seized it up and buried his moaning face in its throat..

(Outer Dark  Cormac McCarthy  1970)

Spring 2023  ..my bombs give me catharsis.. the Unabomber RIP?..dead at 81 took great pleasure in flying fingers+ubermutilation..Harvard trained mathematician demented serial killer+terrorist..

Addendum:

• A morgue manager at Harvard Medical School sold body parts from donated cadavers and let buyers choose which parts they wanted ..June 2023..

happiness is for amateurs?

happiness is a warm gun?

happiness is for the happy?

+apparently cannot be bought

don’t believe it!

a fleeting +rumoured carrot

donkeyhordes buy it   myself

included

3 mts ago dropped 11,324 bucks

in Curaçao  root word  cure   also

dropped to the churned-up pavement

left some knee DNA  +a few rotted out

dreams   of what life could be  on

turquoise water   24/7    365

happiness did not follow me along the

jetstream    to my home+native land

now on fire from sea to burning sea

*4.5 million hectares burned since January

the alive think the dead are dying to

return   don’t believe that either   now

free from the coil  from husband #3’s   infidelities

from old  or sick  or bus-hit  slackskin

bodies   where the girl from Ipanema

is now walking

face it:   happiness is for the tanned

the tall   the lovely   Curaçao tan faded

knee darkscar emblazoned   all devil+rorschach

today my national newspaper tells me  that

soon  all restrictions will be lifted   from

dying with dignity laws

now ask yourself:  why would the alive

legalize  suicide  for all?   you still there?

i’m waiting    get back to me when you

return from emptying the shelves  of happiness

better than hoarding toilet paper    no?

__

*during our recent pandemic Canadians hoarded

24,140,000 rolls of  t.p.  ..10,000 times the number

of burned trees

Spring 2023  ..RIP Astrud Gilberto..when she flies she’s like a samba..🧚‍♀️

carry that weight

lucinda william’s lantern jaw seems to have resolved itself

she southern gothic  me jewish gothic  +other similarities

who doesn’t wish they’d gone on the road like lucinda?

..happy shall be he that taketh and dasheth thy little ones

against the stones..  (Psalm 137:9)

leave the gothic homestead   of love  and hide you in a cellar

from the nazis redemption   i recently read that: not only are

you haunted by your own ghosts  but by those of your ancestors

chains jangling   bonyghost fingers pointing at your 3rd eye

jewish gothic makes Ebenezer’s posse pale by comparison   bloodrites

schmaltz   ovens  etc.,  (we even have the pedophilic driver of the getaway

car in Canada’s biggest bank heist!)    ABRUCH

but here’s the secretsauce people  according to my gnomic +jewish

meditation guru  you  DON’T  have to carry that weight   like Faulkner

who lucinda’s father considered an asshole   meditation teaches:

ditch the past   it itches like headlice   scratch   but don’t allow

boreholes into your soul   a good bottle of  chlorhex  shampoo  should

kill the girls  in bubba’s brothel

the road to hell is paved with

madaunts  mistresses of the fathers

+the renowned beauty of our women

RUN

__

Spring 2023  ..treading the dead world under  like rats on a wheel..Cormac McCarthy