songanddancegirl

you’ve got the eyes of a stranger

alchohol

sodium

ennui

the usual suspects

said a brother  who does not lean lugubrious

he is usually quite even keel   except in those few

seconds the other day  when i didn’t recognize him

we stood a foot apart   quite close   he’d appeared

without warning  dropping a case of holy water  to

the floor  it was moving day  for our 97 yr old maw

+ with a sharp rasp   he ordered me to move a

fuckingchair   through my PPE + his   i discerned

a cageyman   a man who had likely been to prison

with muscles  veiled eyes  cold   hard   dangerous

must be all the sodium+ennui   he is usually quite

pleasant   but not so much after i’d hit him  sidelong+sucker

no one talks to me like that sailor

my own covidalchemy  of  fear  stress

sugar   old sorrows come to life   that

sort of shit    led to the punch

to the moon  Alice!

to the moon!

we continue to circle around each other  uneasy  +stealth

what i saw in those inarticulate seconds

happened once before   as i sat at a pool

with my fiancé of 4 yrs

who is this curly headed boy ?    i had no idea

+ i married him anyway   divorced after 6 yrs   there

are moments when he is still here   but mostly he isn’t

now with wife #3

+a daughter who

visits me

in my dreams

__

Summer 2021  .. the transmutation of jason miles+gary mark   gilmore..

the transmutation of becky thatcher +ape

last sentence of Huck F. grabbed my attention at 15

old Langhorn knew how to haunt a freedom wannabe

so at 65 i light out for seaside territories  where angsty

city agitators   are welcomed with open    pfizerarms

where chowders are plentiful  +there are no grumpy peops

(said the long term care rep)  how about the ones getting on

the long train  to nowheresville?   how about them Irene?

happy?

shiny?

ready for blastoff Houston

this at a much better rate than Bezoz will get from the muskgod

i keep threatening to hire a personal injury lawyer   as chips are

scarfed  +candy languishes  but a lawyered-up brother tells me:

the courts don’t care about 97 year olds ape

they won’t give u millions for old furniture

ok   then how about a couple hun?

__

Summer 2021  day 1.. of the rest of yer life..

mary poppins blues

i have taken to fake tatts  +crooked sailors  who give good

nape massages at 4 am  and wax poetic on sperm whales

is this late stage covidfugue?

i was the girl who asked  during Mary Poppins  a mother

enslaved by laundry  in a Mary Quant mauve eye  +matching

sky-high suede boots  (hot pants too)

Mum  when Mary+Dick sing  are they really singing?

what kind of question is that?  if they’re singing  then

they’re singing!

54 years later i am desperate for that fatlady  but what

will she bring?  the new roaring 20’s?  I PREFER NOT TO

as old bartleby the scribner intoned

he sounds a lot like said mother  now quite old

hello mum  beautiful day!

I PREFER NOT TO

this as i head out  onto shitstrewn streets  vomit too

covidfuge the real societal malaise  science table  with

chairsores galore: alcoholism + languishing are the new

depression/anxiety                 (duh)

face it

the roaring 20’s

are gonna suck

__

SPRING 2021  lastdays   ..fuck mary poppins..

vaginadentata

reinvention ad nauseam going on in the  zeit-o-tron

an obnoxious word for a noxious space  where an

invisible dictator of style  is strong-arming u  everyday

now algorithmically blanded  we listen to musak chosen

by HAL  (yesterday at a Mcdonald’s drive thru i said to my

bro  the chubbiest vegetarian u will ever know   hey that’s

HAL  speaking in burgerish tongues

u know  these zeit-choices  are just that   CHOICES   frivolous +prosaic

but there are   + i hate to break it to u  mostly non-choices out there

for example   when u begin to lose your teeth  yes  your TEETH

take my parents’ last dental appointments if u will   Frankensteinian

at best   neither could walk  +both carried their teeth in a  pouch

i incinerated my father’s  the day after he died   giddy with revenge

and the answer to another looming choice-point this summer?

NO  i don’t want to come to your fucking cottage  too covidshrouded

+gittered    i am no man’s fresh meat    but teeth   going fast

______

Spring 2021  ..Delta variant has teeth.. Globe+Mail June 4th..🔅🔅