"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

welcome to the machine

has an experience ever unhinged a few screws

in your stability machine?  the machine that keeps

you jogging walking crawling into a happy ending


yesterday our neighbour kate died at 88 in her sleep

george her husband didn’t hear a peep   we saw lights

flashing on the ceiling quarter of 6   by then kate was

by-passing the styx


straight to the heaven for strong women   sent to the room

for advertising execs   she was called the first madwoman of

the jingle  next to the room for real estate agents and football

stars falling


next to the room for working class heroes   our grandparents there

but they won’t let us in cause we clawed our way up the ladder into

the middle class where everything is illuminated+irie






Summer 2019   ..summer of broken machines love..


do cows get cancer?

she’s starting to come out of it

8 mths of cocoon

around wound


i lost a son

i’ve come undone

i’m glad my parents aren’t alive  to see this

they worshipped him   and so on


would she be better off back in said cocoon?

selfishly  yes   

i wouldn’t have to field hardballs like:

i should have been there  

it was so   fast


should have

would have

didn’t tell u


suffer this until last grasp  at straws  that

slipped through fingers  even as you knew

this to be  criminal?  increasing panic as his

last days were numbered


or why not just blame it on him !

he insisted you didn’t know


or shove it where the sun don’t shine   along

with your other crimes   quarters from her purse

+informing her of the zigzag scar on her chest


after telling your dad:  I’m going to write a book

where everyone gets cancer  even the cows   he

being a man of the land who loved cows  said:

i don’t think it will sell



Summer 2019 .. wouldashoulda ..


*alexander solzhenitsyn beat me to it dad

with  The Cancer Ward   sold zillions of copies

and was released from the gulag  


free like marty+lee 










ivanka’s father put her in front of despots:

uun  as my 95 yr. old mother calls  pudgy kim

+ the one with the pointynose  who wrestles bears

in his dreams


my father introduced me to a king   a giant shepherd

killed on dufferin st.   + tex  our docile horse  rescued from

the glue factory


i cannot help but wonder about the father of prisoner #A-8541

henriette cohen  the oldest holocaust survivor in france  who

died tuesday  at 103   her father hid her from nazis


here i sit in canada  missing lee  gone this summer for 30   if a

nazi had touched me  he’d have been quite dead  at the hands

of lee  he of gentlebullish tendencies   fierce +paul newman


now a star up there with football bro marty  glimmering  +phospherescent

on horses  in the high chaparral   first post sunk in the fence of family

compound yesterday   for the wagons  now circling




Summer 2019  RIP Lee Atkins  A Man  1921-1989


the bitch is back

a roofer named Venna  just wrote me a letter:

ms. atkins-cameron  i do not apologize for 

hacking a hunk off your roof  or undressing

you with my  peasized  eyes


life is like this sometimes   pervs+opportunists

some your closest friends  lay in wait  to lay bare

your vulnerabilities


but what they are likely unaware of is:  in one’s 60’s

tenacity increases 10 fold   +your bullshit meter  now

a world heritage site  lights up with regularity


i will wrestle you to the ground Venna!   my flaming

red hair  licking   your outsized head   my bum knee

speeding through  the space/time continuum  to

connect with balls  soon to be mythology





Summer  2019  ..ouch..



ain’t born typical

she was wildmagnolia beautiful






swanning on buses

begowned on catwalks

black velvet gloves to there


a childlike innocence

lasting well into the



the kind that lands one in

human trafficking rings

or the hands of a serial killer

if not supercareful







Summer  2019  ..the trouble with normal is it always gets worse..


you are barred from the

10,000 things

brother of my dreams


you’re coming with me to nyc? !!

how can that be?


in line i heard a voice

hey sister christian! 


and over you walked  goofy smile

bear hug   ape i thought i lost you 


where have you been since

my last day  breathing?


hiding under my bed

weeping uncontrollably

heart entombed over leaving u

in a florida swamp



I will reclaim u at the baggage carousel

my hair now quite white  like moses

I’ve aged rapidimento  between your last breath

+unzipping your bodybag    but here u are bro!


start spreading the news






Summer  2019


i hate meeces to peeces

so my dream home has mice  and

centipedes bigger than  husband #3

ok with me  as on cold nights they

keep me company  +will scurry quickly

for refills


the mouse hunter charged us 368.88 for

traps filled with noxiousgas   and #3  is

acting  strangely  while i search high  +

low  for my  tenacity




Spring 2019

bring me your unwashed poet

i’m lighting out  to see lady liberty

streetmeat  +art overload  some bones

+bass at dizzy’s place  where a big man

in a black cape will whisk me out the

backdoor  wrote about him before  pg. 35

of my book


wizard of the carré   finds me on this day

+slips me the answer  like when over lobster

cantonese  my 95 yr. old mother’s fortune cookie

said:  your future is known!





Spring 2019 .. “life is a near death experience” ..

..RIP Dr. John..a.k.a. Mac Rebennack..

New Orleans Grand Zombie Warrior..


not a jazz cat

we talked death

we talked the track

my father’s horsewhispering


his mother  well coiffed

swearing like a sailor     (well she was a new yorker ape!)




1 brother   likely dead

in coming days

a cat in pool this morn  harbinger

of cat goddess bast  sitting on his

brother’s chest


at florida hospice where my football bro

kissed the sky  angry nurses  unstudied

in extreme compassion   told me:

we measure life here in  months  weeks

days  hours  minutes


so how long does my brother have?

repeated each morning   + it was

NEVER  months  or weeks   just breaths

loud+long   heart of a racehorse

too strong    2,306





Spring 2019   ..i saw a cat creeping..




she’s not a girl who misses much

i’ve been accused of snatching away the sunshine+daffs

promised for so long




but life is like that too  so i am simply presenting you

with unvarnishedtruths


btw read sedakis for laughs   or don’t


come here  for words unminced  +fools suffering


and i will goddamnguaranteeyou  a portal   to the way out





+various leakages


the bluebird on the lion’s head won’t be eaten!




fear fear  but put it away now   and walk into your final third

saggy bits flapping  in a chilly morning truth   u weren’t put

here to be happy


but u were





Spring 2019

..people complain about the bad things that happen to em

that they don’t deserve..but they seldom mention the good..

about what they done to deserve them things..i don’t recall that

i gave the good lord all that much cause to smile on me..

but (s)he did.

(Cormac McCarthy  No Country For Old Men  2005)

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