songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

quo vadis vadis vadis

 

she’s in lockdown yet again

in 80 days  she turns 99

i think she may be afraid

 

of

the sky

 

going

going

going

gone

__

 

 

Winter 2022  ..we are breathing each other..all the time..literally..🦇Seline Selassie

 

breakfast of bachelor

 

Mahler ended  +i heard someone speaking

in a tortured cadence  the speaker on the wall

crackled   with eviscerate +desperation

 

a barely audible  i can’t  i can’t   filled the dark room

this my husbands’s 2 o’ clock session   on zoom

his therapy practice  filled  a long waitlist  looms

 

as the final variant of corona  sits behind the scrim

now plucking the bespectacled bachelor   one leg

stumplike +blue

__

Winter 2022  ..5th wave eh..🔅🦇🔅

 

Mollie can u hear me?

Mollie Onrot at 30  journeyed to  Antwerp from Poland

to Quebec City  from Antwerp  to the Ward   in Toronto

from Quebec City

 

with 4 little girls under 8

June 1910

 

my grandmother was the eldest  12 days on the frigid

North Atlantic  waves crash over side of ship   women

separated  from men

 

little girls  slip slide   ship careens   girls scream

cold+wet   fanny pearl beckie annie

 

where is Mollie’s husband?  horse trading below   Mollie

cancer dead at 39   one more child   a son   another wife

soon found   my grandmother never uttered  her name

 

said the Mayo  couldn’t save her mother

Fanny married off   at 18

 

nor could she be saved  from cancered brain   i’ve never

moved from my birth city  how hard can it be?  Mollie can u

hear me?

__

 

..and Yes  I said Yes  I will Yes..

(Molly Bloom  Ulysses James Joyce  1922)

__

 

Winter 2022    ..for chrissakes  get on a plane..

**what really happened

with one bare hand  i lifted a boy

who weighed almost as much as  me

from the tallest tree in our vicinity

 

hands up if u know who helped me?

__

(*addendum to Spence Spence)

Spence Spence

he had designs on my elevenyearold  body

Mr. Spence  perv+lurchlike  greasy greasy  hair

no Elvis    just plain ugly

 

he’s dead now  had me on his lap  at his big brass  desk

i was blossom+pre-skank   as the initiated know  11 yr. old  girls

reek of pheromones

 

he stopped short of full-blown virginsacrifice  he’d

met my father who resembled a linebacker   i suppose

Spence Spence  preyed more fully on the  unprotected   dejected

 

the ones who would later be my child clients  in the

temenos of pain   it was also in that year  i saved a

brother’s life   as he hung  from a tree  by his hoodie

 

had Spence touched me  i’d have shived him  with the

very same knife i used  to cut my brother  out of a tree

shrieking  like a girl banshee

__

 

..it was she who seduced me..

(Humbert Humbert  Lolita  1955)

 

Last Day of 2021   ..goodfuckingriddance..

 

 

 

regina f dearest

she’s a queen  in exile  furstole silkgowns

elbow length satingloves   now mine

 

in exile from her   she who has grown bitter

+balanceshot  but we remember  that queen

 

her wraithbody

 

redhair streaming   not in a river  not ophelia

mother couldn’t swim  drive  or cycle   but she can fly

__

 

Winter 2021 ..for F..

putrifacto blues

idiot games  marriage is  not everyday  but mostly

jousting

jostling archangels + antichrists

come to save u

 

on the other hand  there are moments of transcendence

between bullshit+dryrot

where nirvana smells

like your husband’s fibrillations

__

..mounted one on top of another in idiot games and wanton lust..

(Virginia Woolf  To The Lighthouse  1927)

 

Winter 2021   ..for ASC.. 31 yrs..💘..lumbersexual extraordinaire

*what goes about on 4 legs in the morn 2 at noon 3 in the eve?

*your fate if u can’t answer the riddle

 

entropy+atrophy are having a party in my soulhole

not to mention the carnival atmosphere in my body

dying cells slamdance  as giblets savoury  sold at

hot dog stands

 

FINAL THIRD!  the carnis bark   STEP RIGHT UP!

old ladies  petrifying gents  come one  come all  (if u still can)

but i would never trade  the inside  for 25 yr. old  outsides

a superbody quarterly  would do

 

one brother recently suggested i jump up+down for a blocked ear

i just stood there  +demented    j  u  m  p  ??    but it was when he

encouraged legkicks  that things grew  Lucy  

 

now on the floor

writhing

those fucking kicks

led me to believe

something is rotting

__

 

Winter 2021  ..omi can kiss my old white..

 

 

 

i got down on my knees

what a world!  when i cant even get a free beer

a man said this  in front of the LCBO  Liberty Village TO

let’s be clear  it’s hipster paradise in there

 

but sans liberty  cause everybody’s attached to being  ubercool

me too   but old brokendown cool   like father  all backbroke +jazz

he hated Mick with a passion   +now i see why

 

scrawny  unbrawny  +decidedly NOT  Slim Harpo   i know things gonna

get tougher  but it’s okay  i’m regularly in  the zone  with various swamis

who have been meditating  for 4.2 million staryears

 

did u know that the stars u see tonight don’t even exist?  burned out

billions of lightyears ago   just like your libido  so may the force entwine u

with your  BIG DREAM   the one u still glimpse at the edges

 

better get cracking though

tomorrow today will be yesterday

and so will yous

__

 

Winter 2021 .. still slouching toward Frisco   ..to be born..

 

 

it’s a girl mrs. atkins it’s a girl

something gross happened in the shower  on friday

(NO! not that)   earwax+water=cement   husband’s

bloviations  now below the radar

 

bros called me  earwig soulsister  +a largesse woman

named Olga said: if it’s impacted it’s a grand more bitch

this in Yorkvile  where skinny leather jeans cost  $1,995

(and almost zero cows die in the making)

 

did u know that sound+touch are inextricably bound?

like love+hate

like love+chainsaw   etc.

 

if u can’t hear dick  u can’t feel dick

sort of like that other thing  u thought

i was doing

in the shower

__

 

Winter 2021  ..Apsie? Apsie?..

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