beautiful beyond words
beyond hope
and beauty can –
does often harbour
within its folds
depths of:
exquisite torment
suffering
pain
she was young
beautiful
innocent
a nasty cocktail
waiting
to explode into fate
and what had fate
in store for
our heroine?
bang went her life
__
Summer 2019 ..written 2002..
my eyes are glued to weatherporn 24/7
3-6-4 fugue state escape horo horrorscope
said: pay attention to what you spend the most
time doing
recent preoccupations:
hot romans (32 celsius today)
cool nunavut nights borealisbound
shoes
gauzydresses
football
small children
grief
boredom with grief
today in the pre-dawn light i reviewed the coming
day an odyssey of flayed but for a split second
today wasn’t today then it was
__
what i did on my holiday
unsummer 2019
charlie who?
charlie u bastard
panzerman loser
charliecharming handsome
strangely the spitting image
of beelzebub bub
love of mother’s life we hope
the waters of the styx are wide
+deep creep teethchattering
filled with piraña + vengeful gods
one girl-god looks just like me +maenads
who tear your limbs from baseball body
unholy miscreant u went to law school big deal
married the girl u lied to about girls in 49 states
+one canadian province
o canada
there is a bird pecking but your liver was already
laden metastatic vile you lived down south with
your duped family in church on sundays suckers
crawled up pant legs attaching themselves to your
parts
they sucked but suck as they might they couldn’t
suck the sucker out of charlie I am gunning for your
plastic ono wife who broke up the life of the family
who lived on dreams
they no longer believe in god or beatles they do not flatter
themselves thinking they are forgiving but know that you
squirm in thickdarkslimeshit the glove fits mister
__
Summer 2019
i’m going to dream him back into existence into his
obsidianbody a body that never flinched though
needled carved chemo’d
+sepsis+sepsis+sepsis
comeback i’m waiting for you +i will do it better now
the vile purgatory of: shoulda woulda didn’t love enough
will lift how will you do it now?
did death stitch up the wound show you your father’s
blackheart? in ancient egypt the heart was weighed
against a feather
those of pure heart good karma were set free some
father’s hearts tipped the scales diablos my father’s
heart was big+bypassed +largely underrated
but nobody’s
perfect
eh
__
Summer 2019
lee – 29 yrs. 11 months 2 weeks
marty – 9 months 13 days
free
met him at 25 he just died on a hog in
aspen 1st wife often with powdered blu-ish
black eye he was effusive handsome jersey
jewishguy accent like scorsese mobsterlite
violent death on that bike
2nd wife at home in florida (at least he didn’t die
there where hospice care has gone missing) 2 kids
now searching through rubble boy has his square jaw
and anger issues?
but he was undeniably beautiful last pic of him on a
facebook horse teeth gleaming now the gloaming
seeping along cemetery walls duskdances about to
begin they rise
__
..Colorada state police release the name of motorcycle
rider, 67 of Del Ray Beach, who died sunday on U.S. 21
driving a 2015 Indian Chief westbound , when he drifted..
Summer 2019 ..RIP S.E. 1952-2019..
..we don’t see people for months
then they’re dead..
(Virginia Woolf To The Lighthouse 1927)
(venezuelan poodle moth)
the groundhogs chased youngest up the
back stairs snarling their progeny people
the house now the house that housed the:
motherfather
threebros onesister
tendogs twentyfourpups
onerabbit onesquirrel fish
oneturtle eaten by poodle
backsplit ravinehouse sunsets in living room reds
boy who killed his mother returns prodigal-jerry in a
bathrobe now his orange javelin spewing dust of
the dead:
father
brother
grandfather/grandmother
all dogs
so far
the still alive inhabit new houses while the earlier house
decomposes in their basements in their dreams and
new moths eat the new clothes and the family pretends
their moth problem has been solved
__
Summer 2019
..here once someone had lived; there had been a house..
(Virginia Woolf To The Lighthouse 1927)
(transmutation of blacksonovitch the family poodle
now a poodle moth in heaven)
i met a girl at starbucks she said: i always
wanted to be named after a month we settled
on december her eyes black skin ebony many
say jesus was ethiopian father of the lost tribe
wandering north on florida highways
i met a man at my mother’s retirement rez a child
psychiatrist named ted a pioneer in my field
ted took a liking to me +gave me a book on child
psychiatry when i mentioned it was on my office
shelf ted said:
you’d be better off reading it
he also gave me 17 pages of poetry each with the
month of april writ large: whan april with her shoures
soote + april is the cruellest month chaucer + eliot
among others
when ted’s wife died my mother said: ted’s hungry so
we took him to the cafeteria +bought him lunch i lifted his
walker into the trunk ted’s dead now and i kind of wish
they’d struck up a relationship she’d have loved to marry
a doctor or a baseball player
__
April is the cruellest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land mixing
memory and desire stirring dull roots
with spring rain (t.s eliot the wasteland 1922)
Summer 2019 RIP Dr. Ted Rosen ..a mensch..
43 years ago right this minute we were
getting ready for wedding #1 nineteen
+heading into 2nd yr. U of T where profs
would call me MISSUS
feminism in infancy along with bride to be
groom my boyfriend from 15 silk chiffon
teal traina dress matching flying nun hat
of my own design
bride to millner:
have u seen the flying nun?
and so on
today groom is in his 3rd marriage with 2 kids
none with me he is happy +independently wealthy
while i returned to proletarian roots +toiled in the
trenches of humanity
parents just happy i didn’t end up a missionary better
a divorcé dad i‘m going to adopt 2 zimbabwean children
shouting match in a walk-in closet ensued + a dowry rapidly
produced
daddy’s gone
groom’s mother too
grandparents
great aunts +uncle louie
groom lost a sister
me a brother to cancerinteruptus
not a single friend still married
arranged shtetl marriages not what cracked up to be we went to
hawaii +frisco 19+23 2nd honeymoon to a school house in the
tundra where new husband shared: my first wife asked what about us?
when i said i’d marry u a shouting match+cigarettes ensued but his
timing has been impeccable since
__
..it is the glue..
poet + numero 2 circa 1990
__
SUMMER 2019
has an experience ever unhinged a few screws
in your stability machine? the machine that keeps
you jogging walking crawling into a happy ending
yesterday our neighbour kate died at 88 in her sleep
george her husband didn’t hear a peep we saw lights
flashing on the ceiling quarter of 6 by then kate was
by-passing the styx
straight to the heaven for strong women sent to the room
for advertising execs she was called the first madwoman of
the jingle next to the room for real estate agents and football
stars falling
next to the room for working class heroes our grandparents there
but they won’t let us in cause we clawed our way up the ladder into
the middle class where everything is illuminated+irie
__
Summer 2019 ..summer of broken machines love..
she’s starting to come out of it
8 mths of cocoon
around wound
i lost a son
i’ve come undone
i’m glad my parents aren’t alive to see this
they worshipped him and so on
would she be better off back in said cocoon?
selfishly yes
i wouldn’t have to field hardballs like:
i should have been there
it was so fast
should have
would have
didn’t tell u
suffer this until last grasp at straws that
slipped through fingers even as you knew
this to be criminal? increasing panic as his
last days were numbered
or why not just blame it on him !
he insisted you didn’t know
or shove it where the sun don’t shine along
with your other crimes quarters from her purse
+informing her of the zigzag scar on her chest
after telling your dad: I’m going to write a book
where everyone gets cancer even the cows he
being a man of the land who loved cows said:
i don’t think it will sell
__
Summer 2019 .. wouldashoulda ..
*alexander solzhenitsyn beat me to it dad
with The Cancer Ward sold zillions of copies
and was released from the gulag
free like marty+lee
songanddancegirl... at 4
