"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

Archive for the month “October, 2017”



A  snarly girl with giant breasts  approaches as I write about

love  at the Tampered Press   George Saunders  brilliant and bent

is exactly where I want to get   In  Escape From Spiderhead  George

proposes an experiment  using convicts imprisoned for murder


First George gives them a drug that makes them love  Kind of like our own

oxytocin  but less prairie vole  +more vampireliplock   drawingbloodevery

timetheyfuck   Suddenly they’ve known each other forever  soulmates in

many previous lives  +will continue to meet ad infinitum   ad nauseam

( jaded? hell yes )


When the drug wears off  they fall out of love  Now cadavers   empty  +wreaking

of a stranger’s sweat  (who does not know the horror of this?)  George then forces

one of them to kill the other via a drug called Darkenfloxx™️   He refuses  +kills

himself   The scientists cheer  psychopathy can be cured    A conscience grown in

a petrie dish


My own experiments on human subjects: the dead eyes of abused 7 yr. olds taught

me some things   You can take the child out of the locked room  but you cannot

remove the smell of feces  +mould  from nostrils   What you can do is place said

child in front of windows looking out onto trees  onto sunlight    A hawk  +the full

moon  come night


He cowers there for 2 yrs.+300 days   He looks like Jesus  palms out  stigmata

flowing   One day hundreds of birds gather in the trees  +start to sing  (he does not

take a hammer   bash out the glass  +begin shooting)  He notices the window  + says:

 I don’t think I want to push you out    And then he rests




Fall  2017



What could Vardaman Bundren have possibly meant when he said:

My mother is a fish   You know  the 8 yr. old  Vardaman   in Faulkner’s

As I Lay Dying   His mother Addie has just died in her bed  as an older

son works an adze for days   Making the coffin that will carry Addie to

her grave


Just prior to Addie’s final breath  Vardaman kills  +guts   a fish   The 2

converge in his 8 yr. old psyche   The dead fish + the dead mother   In the

lore of the Fisher King  the grail legend posits:  the wounded Fisher King

is the healer  the grail being one’s own personal healing elixir  made from

suffering a life


What wounds you will heal you   The gutted fish + the cancer ridden mother

teach the boy that there is only 1 simple truth   And the fisher of men said it

best: the truth will set you free    Fearing death is fearing life   Life  the bardo

state   the in-between  the waking-dream   For who is truly alive?


The cuckholded husband  who meets his wife’s lover +doesn’t punch his lights

out?  And why not?  He came to suffer the truth of what was missing in their

marriage   The answer: feeling alive   So get hold of the water of life  +whatever

it is for you  tie it in a bundle +place it on a stick


If it is music  also memorize the silences   These pauses  before what is coming

are important   crucial in fact to prepare you for the   great wide open    The

longest pause  where you won’t have to: mind the gap   That curious sign  posted

as you step onto the subway   Here in life no one wants you to fall through the cracks


Society is set up to protect you   Mostly from yourself    Should you get to know

yourself too well  you might hoist the yoke  +make a beeline    Who then would

inherit the kingdom of heaven?   Freedom is not for the meek    But then you’ve

heard it all before:  aging is enlightenment at gunpoint*


*But only if yer kicking+screaming


Learn to die and thou shalt learn to live,  for there shall none 

learn to live, that has not learned to die.  

(The Book of The Craft of Dying  Comper’s Edition)



Fall  2017  RIP John Lennon   77 today   somewhere






First he was dead  then he was clinging  but no one could ever say

he was good looking  Heroin thin  long of face  Great white hair  a la

Johnny + Edgar Winter   But his nasal drawl  +poetic mainlining  made

you think:  I’ll take him home  We’ll raise a couple of stringy white haired

kids    Move to Malibu  where Thomas Earl Petty died    Yesterday


Massive coronary  66   Free falling on life support  until 8:40 pm   Add him

to the list:  Lou  David  Prince  Greg  Walter   As Pete Townsend once said:

All my friends are dead   And who has not been touched  by the mass exodus?

Which one of us not held their breath  over biopsies  +CT’s   Well it’s either

cancer  or it’s nothing   Stress boiling blood   Breakdown  cannot be far away


60 something refugees  kicked around  by marriages  gout  +dreams abandoned ?

But still here +Tom there  Meeting up with George  et al.   A long cold lonely journey

To a place where the inverted sun  casts shadows  over resurrected rockers   Entering

that final hall of fame   While back on earth  guitars weep   +madmen with guns  enact

carnage   Concerts now mass graves  in the war that has:  No borders   No meaning

No jingo




Fall  2017   RIP  TOM PETTY 1950-2017

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