songanddancegirl

uncomfortably numb

i was born too alive     way too

do u even know what this means?

giantitus of the senses   gulping  choking  vomiting   beauty

sweetjesus  that’s bad  save me from  sensory overlord

Fritz Perls   father of  Gestalt Therapy©️  said:  lose your mind  

and come to your senses   u loafers of the soul  

this for the halfalives  semi-brain dead  mindfulness meditators

go suck a blueberry until yer blue in the face  you are a race

frozen to sensation   lust is not yer middle name

woe though  i have recently come to know  how u  don’t  feel

my alive is dead-inside    it’s a long story   but i did hear a retort

as the social worker  brandishing an M16   offered my 100 yr. old    mother

the:

choice suite in palliative

just because she’s pretty

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Spring 2021  ..it hurts to be pretty..

a key teaching of F. Atkins circa 1965

brown eyed crone

the thing about grey hair is  u join a club  instantly  and u are not

a joiner of clubs  while u might still be a brown eyed girl   no one

really cares  what colour your hair  when balling u behind a stadium

(silverlining of cronehood)

u are now someone who  isn’t just called m’am  but  goodlookin cougar      (ouchhhh)

by wayward men in alleyways   said men siddle up  +through toothless

smiles  ask if they might drool on your fadingstarlight    sure  why not?

this transformation also leads  to being slipped the answer  by

hungry sailors  +players  hopefully pre 65   but back when u were

25   there was a charlatan  with a chicken to pet  around every corner

good example: a biz acquaintance of a bro with 2 planes  hounded u

for a date  back in ’83   he was gnomish  with zillions  he said: a woman

like you  i’d take to the opera  in Prague!    (send a chopper  now)

i fled from the sad breakfast he’d prepared   +rheumy fingers

touching thighs    joe    joe      u still alive?

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SPRING 2021

glad i’m jung + not a jungian*

if u tell a jungian yer pregnant  they take it

as a metaphor  for?  I’m full of life  rife with life

gestating the Godhead ? 

a weird crew  but also the most open +limpid

bunch u ever want to meet  my young nephew

dragged to a jungian lecture  Montreal 2015ish

marvelled:

they’re so weird ape    ya sonnyboy  cultish vulcans  

+he’s a filmmaker  watch out world    one woman  eccentric

+a tad creepy  said often: what’s a Self??  in a high pitched   tremelo

but WTFDIK  u figure it out  which in jungian terms means:

go grapple with yer grandmother’s shadow   sounds like fun

but not if my grandmother is yours

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Winter 2021  ..*C.G. Jung on his sycophants..

swing low + carry me home

i imagine it has occurred to some of u that

u are  actually  dead  and this the un-great

Purgatorio  much vaunted by Dante Alighieri

so  who knows more about death  italians or jews?

or perhaps the ruskies do?  (is that pc?!)  here’s

a quote from dead Leo Tolstoy   u decide

..whirlwinds of snow circled about the dead Vasili’s head

he remembered his money, his shop, his buying and selling

and it was hard for him to imagine why the man called Vasili

had troubled himself with all those things

well it’s because he didn’t know what the  real thing  was!

dead vasili felt himself free  and nothing  could hold him back

i know for sure ..now i know!  and his whole being was filled

with joy..    (Master and Man 1895)

doesn’t that sound a lot like u and me?  now in the 2nd year of

this covidreality  and if we are still alive  maybe we’re in the real

life version  of Scrooge’s dream  vaccines  turkeys for all turkeys

by 2023 !

so just lie back and enjoy it

not pc either  but it will do

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Winter 2021  🦇🔅🦇🔅

vagabond troubadour rises

how many of u have been glued to your final dream?

c’mon  u can tell me

well  mine is fading rapidly  as husband crunches numbers

incessantly   the bones of dinodream   grist for the mill

now a colourful chowder-like substance   (dream involves sailors fishermen +clams)

don’t get me started   lighthouses   +pirates

pirateddreams   like when a child client poked me hard

with Captain Hook’s  hook  (pg. 28 in my book)  why on earth did i buy that thing?!

hey  it’s hard enough to crank out a dream in a covidfugue

so   HANDS OFF!    pinched stoics

i’m through

the NW passage

trolling for will

on the Beaufort sea

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Winter  2021 ..seeking gold and glory, leaving weathered, broken bones.. i will take the NW passage alone..

doppelgänger blues

..there’s a shadow self that lives in

all of us..a doppelgänger of the soul..

Al Purdy declares a doppelgänger of the soul  !!

+ mine pricks up his ears   who is this other me?

a soul untethered to matter  don’t u have to die

for that kind of freedom?

maybe not  maybe all u have to do is cut cords  the

cords that hold u fast  the ones with your family  a

husband or 2   a friend or 3   +then what  Al Purdy?

u the great Canadian poet  living in poverty  much of

the time  with 2 GG’s  count em!  kind of like Bukowski

a  pockmarked  horny   postman poet

in Judaism every sabbath  u are given a 2nd soul  for 24 hrs.

+ u keep a box of rare herbs  to sniff as a reminder  that once

u lit up the sky  + a guy in a bmw concurred  yer gorgeous!     he screamed

circa 1983

now your soul’s doppelgänger   has your real soul  by the balls

tourniquet tightening  all greyhaired+bovine u lay   hey  Al Purdy

your assisted death troubles me

they say when u save a suicide

they ride  like a monkey

on your back

and yes  that is trueblue

can i get

a witness

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Spring 2021 in 15 days   ..year two..batvirus🦇🦇

the shining©️

in this dream 2 sisters named Von Niebelschitz         (seriously)

guide you toward nirvana   except they are extremely

out of breath  going up the 67 steps  in your new townhouse

it faintly resembles  the Overlook Hotel    any minute

Jack the dullboy  will jump out

HERE’S JOHNNY!      he will shout

the Von Niebels twitter nervously  faintly resembling the

twin girls  all bugeyed+deflowered  from The Shining©️

but  in the basement you later find  a vontrap  door!   it

leads to the red carpet you will walk   into the final act

this interlude will hold some of your finest years  the years of

wine+roses  +non-weight bearing bathing  but  before any of

that occurs  you will waltz through sepia ballrooms  to the sea

energy can be transformed  but never destroyed

this the 2nd law of thermodynamics  so fuck McFate

the 3rd law  + you heard it here:  only the present exists©️

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the couple in their new townhouse

Almost Spring 2021  ..the tide is turning..