"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

Archive for the month “November, 2021”

smell that smell

my bestfriend at 14  was named  Joni   +she positively

stank of sex   my big bro gave her sidelong glances  +sniffed

in our spare time we listened to the other Joni  +smoked pot


suburban TO  circa 1972    i’m sure she went all the way!


my younger freakish bros  employed as narcs by the CIA  counter

espionage by day +skulking in alleyways   told my father   who

banned Joni 💔      they’re still pretty uncool


Joni’s beautiful mother  Shirley  died this year  a round  hippie chick

married to a butcher  named Lou   my jazzcat father cast aspersions

on their faux bouvier too    (bouvier my assss) 


i still love the 2 Jonis   one  in a wheelchair   the other  unmothered

i hope the scent of sex still wafts up   my friend Joni is 64  how much

more  will there be?




FALL 2021  ..the pen is more powerful than the sword boyce..

the snake-oil blues

do u have a roster of carpetbaggers in your family?

all sleaze+imposter   feigning love  ardently   especially

during heroin addiction  date rape  and the like


u probably do not


reminiscent too of  the d’Urbervilles  sham aristocrats  preying

in this case the mud of Poland+the dung of Kenora embedded in

their shoes  blahniks


not unlike themselves  embedded in my psyche  flotsam+jetshit

now being excised from my heart  one chunk at a time  was i born

to be kind?!   clearly a curse   but hey   the last shall be first eh






Fall 2021

..last MRI of this poet’s heart..




undo unclutch unfuck

i was given a painting of the simple word  UNDO  in pink

it is still wrapped  but one day soon  in a house near blue   water

i aim to hang it


as a symbol  of my abandon (a little like tom petty in his room up top)

hands up  if u need to be   undone   unclutched   unfucked



the masks



the naked ape



my mother’s hands

from my wrists



of my pursuit  to

leave the house


so what does UNDO mean  to u?



Fall 2021

shivaghouls & freelove

she races across the city  whenever death visits my family

hurried + schadenfreude  arriving breathless  with evil-envy glow

this has been going on for 49 fucking years


either i was the most exciting thing that ever happened to her  or

she is my stalker  someday to shiv me   mid-shiva   her name is Cindi

her best friend Ruby  (who was a babe)  stole her Polish fiancé  Harold


his sister  was my camp counsellor  at 10  +my big bro bedded her  on my

mauve bedspread  many a shabbas eve   circa the Summer of Love


he is stardust

now golden

finding his way

back to the garden

RIP Marty


(yes she stalked me at his shiva too..)



Fall 2021   ..long may u run Martino..

momento mori

(earliest known lighthouse woman.. circa 1785)


my old mother chose a lighthouse to paint   before she knew

how dark it would get   as the alchemists say:  nigrum nigrius nigro

black blacker than black  u know  that dark nigredo place  where u

are forced to transform    willingly or unwillingly


it will be very dark   the constant refrain of a child client named Archie

immortalized in my treatise  The Dark Witch of Countertransference

Resistance   penned twenty years ago


+  it has grown darker these past few years   death  the great big black hole

swallowed a brother   but wait!  maybe death is the meditation state  the part

where u are in the deeps   + it is nigrum to the max


with the monkey mind finally anesthetized   a light shines behind your eyes

SO BRIGHTLY   you never want to return to embodiment   not a death wish

rather  a LIGHT wish     c’mon  light sabres at the ready!


old mother is lighting the way  today she forgot what that tall white tower

with the beacon is called   she is a monk now   forgetting+remembering

that the light   is calling her home




Fall 2021   RIP.. Blackie Blacksonavitch 1966 -1979


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