songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

Archive for the month “November, 2021”

smell that smell

my bestfriend at 14  was named  Joni   +she positively

stank of sex   my big bro gave her sidelong glances  +sniffed

in our spare time we listened to the other Joni  +smoked pot

 

suburban TO  circa 1972    i’m sure she went all the way!

 

my younger freakish bros  employed as narcs by the CIA  counter

espionage by day +skulking in alleyways   told my father   who

banned Joni 💔      they’re still pretty uncool

 

Joni’s beautiful mother  Shirley  died this year  a round  hippie chic

married to a butcher  named Lou   my jazzcat father cast aspersions

on their faux bouvier too    (bouvier my assss) 

 

i still love the 2 Jonis   one  in a wheelchair   the other  unmothered

i hope the scent of sex still wafts up   my friend Joni is 64  how much

more  will there be?

__

 

 

FALL 2021  ..the pen is more powerful than the sword boyce..

the snake-oil blues

do u have a roster of carpetbaggers in your family?

all sleaze+imposter   feigning love  ardently   especially

during heroin addiction  date rape  and the like

 

u probably do not

 

reminiscent too of  the d’Urbervilles  sham aristocrats  preying

in this case the mud of Poland+the dung of Kenora embedded in

their shoes  blahniks

 

not unlike themselves  embedded in my psyche  flotsam+jetshit

now being excised from my heart  one chunk at a time  was i born

to be kind?!   clearly a curse   but hey   the last shall be first eh

 

fucklove

__

 

 

Fall 2021

..last MRI of this poet’s heart..

 

 

 

undo unclutch unfuck

i was given a painting of the simple word  UNDO  in pink

it is still wrapped  but one day soon  in a house near blue   water

i aim to hang it

 

as a symbol  of my abandon (a little like tom petty in his room up top)

hands up  if u need to be   undone   unclutched   unfucked

 

undo

the masks

 

unfuck

the naked ape

 

unclutch

my mother’s hands

from my wrists

 

preventing+unrelenting

of my pursuit  to

leave the house

 

so what does UNDO mean  to u?

__

 

Fall 2021

shivaghouls & freelove

she races across the city  whenever death visits my family

hurried + schadenfreude  arriving breathless  with evil-envy glow

this has been going on for 49 fucking years

 

either i was the most exciting thing that ever happened to her  or

she is my stalker  someday to shiv me   mid-shiva   her name is Cindy

her best friend Ruby  (who was a babe)  stole her Polish fiancé  Harold

 

his sister  was my camp counsellor  at 10  +my big bro bedded her  on my

mauve bedspread  many a shabbas eve   circa the Summer of Love

he is stardust

now golden

finding his way

back to the garden

RIP Marty

__

(yes she stalked me at his shiva too..)

 

 

Fall 2021   ..long may u run Martino..

momento mori

(earliest known lighthouse woman.. circa 1785)

 

my old mother chose a lighthouse to paint   before she knew

how dark it would get   as the alchemists say:  nigrum nigrius nigro

black blacker than black  u know  that dark nigredo place  where u

are forced to transform    willingly or unwillingly

 

it will be very dark   the constant refrain of a child client named Archie

immortalized in my treatise  The Dark Witch of Countertransference

Resistance   penned twenty years ago

 

+  it has grown darker these past few years   death  the great big black hole

swallowed a brother   but wait!  maybe death is the meditation state  the part

where u are in the deeps   + it is nigrum to the max

 

with the monkey mind finally anesthetized   a light shines behind your eyes

SO BRIGHTLY   you never want to return to embodiment   not a death wish

rather  a LIGHT wish     c’mon  light sabres at the ready!

 

old mother is lighting the way  today she forgot what that tall white tower

with the beacon is called   she is a monk now   forgetting+remembering

that the light   is calling her home

__

 

 

Fall 2021   RIP.. Blackie Blacksonavitch 1966 -1979

 

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