songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

please don’t be dead

last night watched a dead poet for almost 3 hrs

on my screen  tompetty  all hopped up + shaking

like a mover

 

nothing but dead shamans + covid 19

 

today visited brother’s grave   buried whitepowder

under a whitepine tree   winds gale force  tree unbending

 

powder  unrepenting+free

 

lastdays dwindling   at a florida turtle preserve   this entire

story   reeks of mythology   but  so  did  he

__

 

 

Spring 2020   RIP Marty

not her first rodeo

 

our mother’s 1st quarantine was in 1931  at 7

in a sanatorium for tuberculins +the fevered

clothes burned before+after  frankly scarlet

 

i have the photo  she stands beside a tree  all

dickensian+waif   thin ragdress  palliddistress

not smiling  like those dustbowl kids  begrimed

+saintly

 

her sister julie  was taken by the other plague

the diphtheria  at 6   all trials are etched into

the central nervous system  yet mother’s doc is

blithely unaware of this

 

when she peppers me with pointed less questions

i play dead   what else can a girl do  as the covid

stalks her old mother

 

that early stint in solitary  paved the way for

a lifetime of dreading  ALONE   yet yesterday

she asked for a break  from  the facephone  !

 

can u all give me some space!  the couch is getting

crowded  and my brownbroth awaits   2 bowls!

as god is my witness   i’ll never be hungry again

__

 

..as god is my witness they’re not going to lick me..

i’m going to live through this if i have to lie, cheat,

steal or kill ..   (Scarlett  1936  + Frances  2020)

 

 

Spring 2020  ..8 weeks in solitary +counting..

 

 

amnesia is a coping skill.. *friedrich nietzsche

apparently so is holding in every feeling  you have had

since 1976  (year of  teenaged marriage  to numero uno)

the problem is:  bizarre breakout crymoans   which shall

heretofore be known as:  b to the 2nd +c 

 

think  being shivved

think  suckerpunch  suckers

think  racingheartmortis from  the backlog    (oh the backlog  said a loser uncle)

 

think  it’s my party + i’ll cry if i  fuckingwantto

 

don’t worry

just joshin yas

__

 

..i am not a man  i am dynamite..  

(Friedrich Nietzsche  Ecce, Destiny, 1)

 

 

 

** ..the ability to self numb + dissociate  can lead to abrupt alien abduction  

(a to the 3rd)  as feelings are in high demand on frozen planets..    

(AAC  psycho therapist+poet)

 

 

Spring 2020 ..hands up if u really want trump in a mask?..

 

 

when covidconvicts touch

 

yesterday i drove up  the dreaded bathurst st.  home of

my live mother  +my 31 yrs. dead   dad    a pilgrimage

grim+covid    blame the powers that be  for this bungled

travesty

 

orange don  who certainly has covid-toes  the thought

of which  in addition to his haircovered bits   is vomitous

then there is our own soft-talker  a salt+peppered vampire

rubbing his hands together   all snakeoil+slime

 

but i digress   this poem is about the fallout   the time is now

for otherwise healthy 90+ yr. olds  to find themselves wheelchair

bound  after being left in broomclosets in quebec

 

mother and i stood like convicts  touching the virus-sprackled

window at her rez   did u ever wonder why convicts touch their

hands to the glass?     u better sit down

 

an electrical current passes thru the membranes!  resulting in

instant imprinting   upon death those very DNA particles  lead

convicts  + the gassed   straight BACK to each other

 

my old mother cannot fathom why her formerly erudite neighbour

is slackjawed+demented this morning   why it’s the covid mummy

 

the what??   

THE COVID !!

oh

__

 

 

 

 

Spring 2020  ..let us in..

old ludicrosities re-visited

TO  BE  OR  NOT  TO  BE   HAUNTED & NEUROTIC*

Now 1/2 empty  in shimmering dilapidation   remembering

the days of kittenish anticipation   Almost spoiled the sweet

Thanksgiving spuds    Too much chaos in old psyche  to use

utensils with care   Sauce does not fair  well   ginger allspice

nutmeg  in heaps  tastes earthy  old  unsweet   (throw the

orange motherfuckers out!   my inner poltergeist screams)

 

How To Re-Invent Yourself at 60  For Dummies   the book is

called   1/2 of me wants to crawl under a rock   1/4 wants to

eat cake   1/4 wants to soar  once more  before  mortis  motherless    +terrific

__

 

In a strange room you must empty yourself for sleep. And before you are

emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are emptied for sleep, you

are not. And when you are filled with sleep, you never were. I don’t know

what I am. I don’t know if I am or not. 

William Faulkner   As I Lay Dying  1930

 

 

*OCTOBER  2014*  ..now 63..re-invention tour over..fuck cake+rocks+soaring..+covid

calling all clingons

holy extraversion batman!

 

all of humanities problems stem from man’s 

inability to sit quietly in a room  alone

(Blaise Pascal  1623-1662)

 

STOP  all the zooming  +breadbaking

u craft desperados  fer chrissakes  u

who want life eternal  cannot sit indoors

on a rainy sunday without wanting to leap

 

could this be fate bringing our extraverted

famewhoring  world  to its knees?   hey

a girl can dream

 

if u want immortality  yer gonna have to work

a little harder people!  during the black death

peaking from  1347-1351   200 million people died

 

but it continued in  WAVES   well into the 1600’s

when blaise was putting a few thoughts together

so get a fucking grip!   hermits rule  +it’s finally cool

to be one

__

 

 

Spring  2020   ..hell is other people.. Jean Paul Sartre..+ H. Lee Atkins

in my basement room with a needle + a push up bra

jailed flowers in our park  1000 buck fine for dressing passive   (some shot on site)

piles of dead flowers on hillsides  beside elderly  tossed in heaps

if u r looking for alchemist’s gold  u will perhaps find it in discarded

locust husks  because plagues ‘r us?  this one’s biblical  proles   think

11 billion  swarming east africa  this minute  mass starvation airborne   now

 

black

dengue

aids

madcow

swine

bird

sars

mers

batshitcrazy

 

(sounds a lot like Passover  no?) ( except for: boils frogs firstborns murdered)

 

so hands up   who loves the herd  now?  with its  mammalian ludicrosities 

can’t steal that one  it’s fuckingfaulkner!  but seriously  some faulty conscience

chip  has led to this  the woman screaming in loblaws: THE CHINESE DID THIS

AND THEY LIED!!   was carted away in a tightwhitejacket

 

one day  u will long for simpler times   like when trump was assigned  to the

house that putin built  now it’s about losing your religion democracy  +mao is doing

summersaults   what would u give to return to a past filled with  toiletpaper  sanitizer

+freedom?  there is no candy coating the pricklycovid  (is it just me or is that sucker

beyond ugly?)

 

there is no return

 

how to break this to u?  the  eternal return  is cancelled  shut down  masked

if it looks like spring  +walks like spring  is it?  or just the devil’s glamour   who

will u return to  when your former self  has been brainwashed into thinking  that

the  new normal    is normal    ??

__

 

it is  right?

 

 

 

Spring 2020

i’ll take mine with a side of hanta

no more perfunctory smiles  humanfaces

i.e. ..the gaze..  fallen by the wayside  as

muted+masked marauders  take to the virus

like shit thru a covidgoose

 

i did see a mouse among the organicgarlic at

my greengrocer yesterday   pulled back my

hand  didn’t say boo  hoo     ..okay okay

 

in the midst of covid-19  not going to cry over

a little hanta with my linguini   these days too

busy crushing translucent greenspiders  to a

pulp  (i who used to ferry bugs to a window)

 

i have a brother who hates: lakes+babies   now

i do too  +covidrage is demolishing relations with

husband #2  but things are much livelier with a virus

around   especially the early dawn visits of sailors  i

now generously share

 

i asked said husband:

what should i do if i think i‘m losing my mind?  

number 2:

don’t tell me

me:

any other suggestions?

 

..crickets

 

and moans

 

 

Spring 2020  ..hey  don’t lose yer sense of humour..

 

HOLY HOLY CORONAVIRUS! BATMAN🦇

my father was a real live cowboy  he came with

horses

boots

hat

dogs

cows

+ a goat  (billy  who fell hard for a brother)

 

mother doesn’t remember him much  96 yr. olds

live in the moments between meals  and nowadays

say things like:  it’s a good time to be dead  +  i feel like crying+dying

 

but she really doesn’t mean it!  she has always been

a dramaqueen  didn’t pass it on to me  no  it was to

a brother  who  is not here to rail against this shitty batvirus

 

another kind of virus took him down  october 21, 2018   metastatic+mortis

 

did u know there are hundreds of batcorona viruses

circulating among our herd each year?  perhaps our

batman🦇mythos  where batman becomes a god-protector

is kind of like jesus fighting Lu

 

but how does this explain robin?  hmmmm  well another

brother ran around  in cape+tights   and has reinstated

these  as he fights  the pricklycovidjoker  on deathlydowntown nights

 

riddle me this: why are we so docile facing the batshit abyss?

how come the hordes are not fighting back  like said brother?

perhaps people in glass houses should not throw stones  or

drink lysol  or harangue others who had bayonets pointed at ’em  24/7

__

 

 

CoronaSpring  2020

 

a denturist from dartmouth + a virus from china🦇

 

have ruined my 63rd birthday  but hey

i was already half-crazed  some would

say  fourfifths   but on this day  in the midst

of  respiratorymayhem  the screw  she turns

 

so  have i been screwed royally?   hell yes! 

is covid the last emperor of china?  quite likely

today i will sport my inches of grey  with faux

joie de vivre  +whitecankels

 

and deep inside  where i used to hide  shelter in place

resides a febrile elation  battling for survival  and

world domination

 

bring it!

 

bat-eaters +cow-towers

i am not an animal   (in a wet market  being tortured)

I am batshitcrazy  BATWOMAN!🦇🦇

and i stand by this poem

__

 

psychic spies from China

try to steal your mind’s elation

(Red Hot Chilli Peppers  Californication) 

 

 

 

CovidSpring  2020  ..hands of my elation motherfuckers..🦇

 

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