"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

you’ve got the eyes of a stranger




the usual suspects


said a brother  who does not lean lugubrious

he is usually quite even keel   except in those few

seconds the other day  when i didn’t recognize him


we stood a foot apart   quite close   he’d appeared

without warning  dropping a case of holy water  to

the floor  it was moving day  for our 97 yr old maw


+ with a sharp rasp   he ordered me to move a

fuckingchair   through my PPE + his   i discerned

a cageyman   a man who had likely been to prison


with muscles  veiled eyes  cold   hard   dangerous

must be all the sodium+ennui   he is usually quite

pleasant   but not so much after i’d hit him  sidelong+sucker


no one talks to me like that sailor


my own covidalchemy  of  fear  stress

sugar   old sorrows come to life   that

sort of shit    led to the punch


to the moon  Alice!

to the moon!


we continue to circle around each other  uneasy  +stealth

what i saw in those inarticulate seconds

happened once before   as i sat at a pool

with my fiancé of 4 yrs


who is this curly headed boy ?    i had no idea

+ i married him anyway   divorced after 6 yrs   there

are moments when he is still here   but mostly he isn’t


now with wife #3

+a daughter who

visits me

in my dreams




Summer 2021  .. the transmutation of jason miles+gary mark   gilmore..






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