songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

Archive for the month “August, 2023”

gravedigger’s blues

grave all chewed up   scorched earth  demeanour grave

as i karate chop cemetery manager   a frail+dastardly

man-elf  who lies baldfaced  to the grief wracked +barely living

 

the dead have his number  my mother would have unminced

words for him  she of the truth   unvarnished   she would say

+particularly to those with delusions of grandeur   we were poor

 

my mother had a

grocery store  

we lived upstairs 

and we always had food

 

proud daughter of  a pokerplayer+tailor  Jewish quarter Montreal

born 1924   her final cryptic-wisdom in the weeks leading up to

her death  at 98      i’ll tell him when he gets here 

he was coming for her  and she knew it  and she was fuckingfearless

he sang her songs  in the middle of the night  old standards from the

40’s   for this  we called a mediocre lady psychiatrist  who said:

 

your mother is deaf    (!)   i guess Benny Goodman at 4 am renders one

deaf   for this she attended  several universities  +taught at U of T    so

what did mother tell him when he got here?

 

and i quote:

you’re no match for me  you cowardly bastard  i dated the Ali Kahn

for chrissakes  sat with Sinatra in a choice booth at the El Morocco

how many times did you have to ring the doorbell at 4 am?

 

for this my kids nearly committed me!  

why you’re nothing but a 

2 bit door to door reaper  

 

and your voice    don’t ask !

__

 

Fall 2023  ..one year..rest easy mummybird ..🐦

the last cut is the deepest

they had 666 stitches between them  sewn

willynilly  into their skin  they wore their

crowns of thorns  with dignified aplomb

 

all 3 of them

father: they’re gonna cut me from stem to stern kids

martino: i was a q.b. this don’t frighten me  now get me

the fuck out of this bed

motherbird: if the bubba had balls she’d be the zaida  i was

too stupid to be afraid

NOT stupid  an innocent  like a captured bird  glamourpuss

in suburban deshabille  the 3 of them are my heroes  for their

bravery  in the face of  scalpelfrenzy

 

sometimes the cure is worse than the disease

glitch in heart-lung machinemonster 

curving scar breastbone to lumbar  armpit implicated

neo-bladderman rules the airwaves

 

And they rose up  without complaint  +lived to fight another

day   they stoked their fierce originality   for some 55 years

post-crucifixions      BRAVO

Summer 2023  ..Happy Anniversary Frances+Lee..without you..we’d be nothing👑👑

griefstew + fawns

i sit here stewing + grieving  sounds like a

morbid cooking show  cannedgrief  with a

side of stewed prunes  unblock those last

remnants of what is stuck

 

heartbloat gutwrench

 

guts not churning as much  but my dead peeps

are all around me  whispering  moving things

flashing lights   scaring the shit out of me

 

why not come in the front door?  sit down  take tea

sleep over    just don’t be dead  anymore   you can

do it!

 

this morning i reamed out the new cemetery guy

Jewish Mellors  sans the limp  your graves bedraggled

dry scorched earth  on the freshest mothergrave

 

i see beautiful lush greenery  at other cemeteries   i even

see  butterflies  fawns  leprechauns  i want a fucking refund

or i will be moving my peeps    posthaste

__

 

Summer 2023  ..i see trees of green..red roses too..

 

and i think it’s outta sight

he is gnomic  +wears fuchsia glasses   owns a home

tall +Victorian  little shop of horrors?  bursting flowers

all things Alice

 

my brother says he is grooming me  possibly to be the

catwoman to his gnomeman   he’s trying to get you into

his lair ape   that’s his M.O.🧌

 

i used to sit on a bench across from said lair  listenin to

hurtin cowboys +faded rockers  most dying or dead   now

i cannot sit there  as capedcrusader appears  almost magically

 

like those tiny red ants  currently swarming my bed🐜🐜🐜

 

but the chiaroscuro is finer near his haunt   my white boots

soft+cowgirl  take me there  all on their own  flirtatious old

woman   M.O.

yesterday the smallish man in pink glasses  invited me in

there were  pulleys+puddings  and faded dreams in a corner

Go Go boots are back bitches!   mine  now splayed

__

 

Summer of Love  .. do take note re: the upbeat flavour of this poem..🌞🌻

lost

all the portents pointed to it

ditto the dreams  the visions

the delirium too

 

the dead were travelling on buses

to have dinner with her  she too was

taking fairybuses  all over hell+gone

 

in her blue nightgown

to visit

her lost   (ape i have to get a bus  RIGHT NOW!)

 

yet it still did not dawn on anyone that

she would be making the final crossing

in a mere 6 wks

 

DUH   (dumbkopfs)

 

we might have escaped to Paris  where

she’d show me her haunts  now haunted

by her fragilespirit  dressed in silk moiré

 

she named me there  as she pranced to Basie

but we’ve used up all of our  one more onces   

+ i am left to age  in hipster parks

 

where i watch the mothers+daughters  in stores too

how they look alike  walk close  laughing   I’m sure

only I can see the frayingthreads  tethering them

 

to this spacetime continuum

those threads are gonna  SNAP ladies!  and like me

you will spend the rest of eternity  stroking the hand

of your    invisible mother

__

__

Summer 2023    ..please sir can i have once more?..

oh he’s swift

there are so many ants in my house right now

the carpet is covered in antshit  a foot deep

does an ant shit in the woods?  do u?    🐜🐜🐜

 

husband #3 does  +uses a branch aprés  but then

he is scottishgnarly  +never sorry for the shit   he

wreaks    +yes his shitstinks

 

(but not as bad as his hockey gear)

 

this week as i sweated over my latest artproject  a

glue-maleficence shitshow   ants glimmered  +stuck

to bits of my brothers  +to Jesus too

 

(i’d hole punched their pics)

 

you see my family is in the process of a resurrection

rising up out of the ashes of a brother  the graves of

our mother +father  now covered in cheappink flowers

 

(the shul bilks us for)

 

i’m not sure i want to be an artist anymore   i just wanna

buy italian cowboy boots  +star in spaghetti westerns  like

Gina Lollobrigida   my husband’s doppelgänger

 

(u see i adore a buxom man)

 

no  i want to grow  6 inches   +be like Taylor Swift

smarthusband said: when i see Taylor  i go biological

whereupon i kicked his haggis ass

__

 

Summer 2023  ..mamas don’t let you babies marry cowboys..

these birds

my father taught me how to catch birds  a brother

calls me Tippie  daddy said: carry a saltshaker kid

if you can throw some on it’s tail   it’s yours!

 

for years i slunk in tall grass  with salt + a dishtowel

until i was about 53  when it came to me  these birds

were catching me

 

time stands still when you hunker in grass  the pact of

Faust  who even had a black poodle   Mephistopheles

ditto me  his name  just Blackie  (father’s burst of creativity!)

 

over the years the birds grew  bigger  one taloned a brother

another scooped our mother  father was actually carried off

by hundreds of wrens    one with a dowager’s hump  now circling  me

 

i chronicle this at art school   my project seemingly sombre  is

actually rather uplifting  you see  after the dismembering  there

will be a gathering up  motherfatherbrother et al.  now taking tea

 

 

why with all of this positivity

who knows what mountains

i will climb  what streams i will ford

 

stop rolling your eyes

and tell me  what are u

grateful for?

__

 

Summer 2023  ..next poem.. sunshine+daffodils..🤟

 

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