crossfire hurricane
that’s what grief feels like also it feels like death
over+over+over until you couldn’t die if you tried
don’t you have to be alive to die?
but then imperceptibly +creeping life returns or
is this pretend alive? like when you played dead
so nazis couldn’t find you +run you through
bayonets loved jews especially babyjews this is true
but i’ll stop here and tell you about my efforts to
resurrect (+please do feign excitement)
i took pictures in these pandemic years which were also
the last years of my mother’s life unbeknownst but not
to her she always knew she’d never make it out
so the pictures of her shoes +mine +yours reverberate
with captivity +moans but no one wants to show the shoes
because no one wants to remember
let’s all pretend
it never happened
except i remain the cursed Cassandra for 3 fucking yrs.
i grew quiet through covid-drudgery i trudged in misery
masked lone ranger
7 vaccines later you hardly remember the encavement
how quiet you were in company what an effort it was
to care about any thing so you cared about no thing
except how quickly you could return to your lair out of
the cave now sometimes you want back in 2 wars
have now erupted
children of freshly dead parents are brought out of tunnels
to greet the bright new day soldiers are given orders: don’t
touch the children and do call them sweetheart
as you break
the orphan-news
__
Winter 2023 ..here’s lookin at u sweetheart..
songanddancegirl 