when i was a child i caught a fleeting glimpse
but i did not understand what i was looking at
a camera falling onto the freshlydead’s grave
(a recurring reverie) documentary by the Gods
the film inside chronicle of a lifetime unobsured
by persona everybreath step heights descents
passions losses splendour decay depravations
you get the picture?
Lois died cancerriddled like her mother (and no i’m not done
with cancer quite yet) i recall her face often smeared with
red lipstick freckled jovialmisery
mostly hidden by valium+booze the gummies of that generation
always astride her bestie a teenage widow whose husband’s suicide
shrouded in mystery a rich handsome jaguar
the girls in my hood were raised to marry rich + take care of their
mothers until the embittered end i failed miserably at the former
Nobel prize for the latter
though mother preferred listening to jazz with a brother she said
to me: you’ll visit when i’m dead now a newbie-dead her camera
fallen obscura images flashing through my sleepless nights
O what am i gonna do with this terrible freedom?
fucked if i know gummies just upping my maudlin BUT lastnight
i was slipped THE ANSWER as i wept for my decomposing matter
joints degenerate + jelloskin but thin
get this: life+death are just flipsides of the same coin! a continuum
if you will of consciousness thebigbangbirth into matter matter decays
pure consciousness remains fullcirclejerk
the Monad the Urobouros
you know i’m just not numb enough
for these times
i see you all running
for the exits
COME POET SHUT UP!
__
..last page of my 1st book: GO HOME..
..last page of my 2nd book: RUN (while u still can)
Winter 2023 ..ain’t no sunshine for 40 days..
songanddancegirl 