don’t tell me what the stoics are doing
each day is a life
Seneca
we tell ourselves stories in order to live
Joan Didion
you can get new toilets but if you put the same old shit in them
they’ll still overflow with the same old shit
Aprill Atkins Cameron
amor fati (love your fate)
Nietzsche
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i remember when they lost their parents mother wore black well taffeta gown
Jacques Fath Paris 1952 black velvet hat with netting i kept these all my life
in bags stained yellow time colours moistcotton skin too where cigs held
where liver spots dwell
mother wore black at what would become her mother’s deathbed +NEVER
again the opposite of widow’s weeds reversefuckingsuperstition ! a death
not pretty old Sarah’s stroke witnessed by 5 yr old poet mother went all
Clytemnestra pulling her hair out running back+forth
bitchslapped by a cousin in the garment industry boy did mother grieve
HARD for the rest of her life (just like me for her softhands+beauty ) mum
do you think your mother would have liked me? she’d get down on her knees
and worship you mother a gorgeous drama queen
father lost his mother to brain cancer she’d had a premonition pre her
final Florida sojourn if i die don’t let your mother come to my grave or
anywhere near me this our final goodbye i didn’t tell anyone mother
visited her everyday
sat by her side combed the hair of her now demented mother-in-law witch
who’d hated her Paris past father wept enfrailed+yellow he’d caught his
mother’s Hepatitis C deathbeds germy father weakened +died soon after
a shadow of his former football-self she took his manhood to her grave
who by slow decay? now i have lost both my parents orphanpoet who among
you will remember me from this time in the veil of tears? in the crucible of gutted
how i howled over their bones their dust how i healed will heal am healing forever
because i was given to them because i was with them at all LUCKYGIRL
they loved the shit out-of-us despite maybe because of their woundedness every
Saint broken a little my young child clients abandoned at birth or kept what’s
the difference? starved hit raped burned +on+on and you cannot make up for
these holes you wanna be slipped the answer? you just were
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Fall 2024 ..that was Paradise! +we were kicked out of Paradise..(husband #3)
..stay just a little bit longer..
songanddancegirl 