it’s not all jagged scars + stretchers

when i told him to shut his eyes in the bowels of
the hospital at 2 am my eyes remained quite open
i was still seeing witnessing recording bleeding out
for the record i do not have brain cancer i merely brushed
up against it violently +PTSD who cared for me? the cherry
trees in the park even in the dark

as i staggered home a carcass all animal inside now eight months
on the otherside the numbing has begun dissociation that human
coping mechanism the one that allows us to push through bardo states
where we do not know if we are dead or alive this way to survive 🔜
holocausts vivisection cancer divorce beartraps as old Carl Jung has
reminded me: the human ego can withstand excruciation crucifixion and more

of course there is a tipping point Carl into the river of NO RETURN
but i am still paddling and i’ve decided to embrace the grey this winter
and make it into something beautiful like Frida with a gangrenous leg

like the scars on my
motherfatherhusbandsisterbrother
intricate etchings on bloodied snowangels
so don’t cast the first stone don’t judge my suffering i will never be
the same near hopeless creature again and that’s progress motherfuckers
anyone out there brave enough to join me in the holy abyss of hope?
WOW that really cleared the room!
__
..Nick Cave decided to be happy as a form of revenge after his
15 yr. old son fell to his death on his 1st acid trip..
Winter 2024 ..bodhisatvva of pain rises up..🦅🦅

..if you are looking there are signs everywhere..

