the preparatio
certain doors of perception open +close at every stage of life
36 double chai 2nd HALF OF LIFE still robust immortal
mostly but waning +interruptus
knowing glowing showing telling ad nauseam Gods of idealism
joie de vivre limpskimp regret a bell tolls +BANG💥 the FINAL 3rd’s
arrived the mystical doors swing wide enter little human +buckthefuckup
suffering intensely the losses the illnesses the death marches the deepest
dive into the mysteries the PREPARATIO has begun birthed to Frances
to Lee Easter Sunday 1957 i always thought i would die in the 2040’s
in 2047 90 no fuckingway! hey i miss my parents desperately they
the glue the holybedrock the homefire the birds 🐦🐦 make your own
way now crone of bones ash stardust ether
it is NOT my own death that troubles me i expect to die +the Reap will not
cheat me of that experience it is the deaths of my peeps this is unbearable
(being human can suck)
maybe i just want to die first does this make me a coward? i don’t think so
it’s the living through the gestation periods of their deaths father planning parties
he who HATED parties we talked about the deathfeast endlessly for weeks
old mother the last woman standing almost missed the bus to visit her lost sisters
I just want to go home football bro regaling invisible minions in hospice hell
but oh that final breath ars moriendi a whiff of God’s dog +GONE
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..flesh is a mess of blood pieces of bone a woven tangle of nerves
veins arteries human lives are yesterday a blob of semen tomorrow
embalming fluid ash.. Marcus Aurelius 6.13 2.2 4.48
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Spring 2025 ..L’ CHAIM..we get it Marcus..we get it!
songanddancegirl 