songanddancegirl

a little piece of a foot..of a heart..left in the chrysalis this summer

summer over  the stinkmess  the suck of heatsmokehumidity

oh the humidity  gnarly shitstained streets +people  city carrion

PEI a watery refuge in   THE BIG STINK

don’t make a big stink out of everything ape!

impossible

unlikely

unhinged wanderer

(i am so pathetically intense I can’t be any other way)

(Sylvia Plath)

now summer turns to dreams of moving  of shitty terlits replacing the

mean streets (shit emerging as a theme) where is Carl Jung when you

really need him?

in bed with Toni Wolff

as Emma  +Von Franz

neck   in the corner

(..the unconscious..is realllllly unconscious..  CG Jung  circa 1898)

the dreamscape:

moved to an apartment  it’s way too small

shoes now in the living room

balcony faeces faces a wasteland

of a house  a yard  garbage sprawled  creeping

up the trellis   we can’t stay here

she awakens with a scream  then back into the same dream  much like in life

you’re still here dayindayout  until you’re not  and you cannot leave without

permission   a permit   a chainsaw

now in a car  and lost  there’s a cop  hey constable!  she keeps driving  in the

direction she thinks will take her home  but if you don’t know where yer going

directions are meaningless

(..you set out for one place..and arrive in as another..)

(fuck Copernicus  1473-1543)

every child client asked the same question:

do you get paid to love me?

i ask you gentle reader  without irony

are you paid to read me?   no doubt

at this juncture   you feel  you should be

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Fall 2025  ..work on sunshine+daffodils continues unabated..unsated..

..home is not where you are born; home is where all your attempts to

escape cease.. (Naguib Mahfouz  1911-2006)

back away from the toothfairy

my mother+i had the same dentist   during her lifetime we spent

numberless hours in his rooms  with views of Tim Hortons  + dirty

city sidewalks   he a tooth whisperer extraordinaire

he could sell a bicycle  to a fish

to quote Gloria Steinem:

a woman needs a man

like a fish needs a bicycle 

these days i sit in her lap  on the very same chair   in her embrace

(the sidewalks now shitstained)  ape this is a kaduchas  but on you

it  looks good!    mother was always my greatest fan

un-gentle reader  it is i who will lose her teeth  guess i needed to be humbled

but lest we forget   Icarus flew  (me too u envious fuckers)  gorgeous mother lost

hers at 19   Paul Newman father a few each year   a slow ignoble drip

i hurled the wretched prosthetic  on which he regularly gagged  down the

garbage shute with such force  father came to comfort me  from his new

farm in heaven   he also threw back his head and laughed

this he rarely did in life  it had to be really funny  or re: some human conceit

he’s full of shiiiiiit   a frequent refrain   father flew too   a cleated Icarus

handsome  don’t ask

but wait  aren’t those

sparkling pearly whites

in father’s resurrected head

hope springs eternal !

one day i too will be  tooth-ed  again

_

(..and if the Zaida had balls..he’d be the Bubba..)

Summer 2025  ..practicing non-attachment as i write..

you reaper what you sow eh

a large-ish man in a cowboy hat with a feather

lepermessiah    rising   rising

digging fresh earth for freshdead

holding something over his head

a divining rod  a newborn newt

the ancient bones of God’s dog

he is feet from our parent’s graves  our brother’s

white ashes in mother’s shoe  he was confused by

the cancer  told each of us to bury him somewhere else

or was he confused?

divide+conquer  his cri du couer

now he un rests in different places

dances the bugaloo in my bedroom  daily

cleated raconteur

we stand and watch the diggers   measurements are taking place

oh the water table  some buried in cement  so afraid are they

of decompose

of dustyrictus

of ashes

of hungry grasshoppers

our fallen  not in cement casings   a dishonourable uncle encased

his wife   oh the water table   to this day she cannot escape   and

row to Huron

where her people wait

he was thought a hayseed  a dumbdumb  often in pyjama bottoms

trailing an ugly pekinese

our own mother in reverse amniotic fluid  about to be reborn

as

sprite

nymph

bird

what she always was       anyway

who would encase a shiningstar?  bah humbug  old uncle Eb

do not fear the holyriver!

tributaries flow  under the oldhood

where the deeded land of our dead

is reapered

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Summer 2025   ..for the Atkins Crypters  RIP..  LA FMA MA  Babylonbound

simpler times

were they simpler times?  back in the day Death drove a pink cadillac

he was happier  loved his work +the people he worked with  there was

even a shine on his shoes!   today he just scoops us without flourish

back in 1969  our teacher looked like an evil ET   boney  gaunt at the

withers  Mr. Oglevie taught history  +he could be scary   my friend Marc

wore my mother’s red satin bathrobe  to play the French bishop

who murdered

indigenous children

Marc had muscled calves  +dark sephardic skin  Oglevie leaned in  close

as i squeezed said bodyparts   he likely had a boner too  as Marc was a

handsome dude

his older brother dragged my youngest home from shul  where tomatoes

were thrown at the  sometimes  faithful Jews  on many a shabbis  squeals

were heard  as Chinese food arrived   oink  fucking oinkoink

Marc died this week  he didn’t have the years   my mother’s stained red robe

won us an  A  in history from Mr. Oglevie  who shouted: Bishops wore red by Jesus!

as he fondled mother  once removed

red tomatoes

red blood of indian children

red silk from mother’s  suburban boudoir

what were those stains anyway?  likely pee from a giant poodle who shared our

parent’s marriage bed  along with the ghosts of former wives  lovers  Sinatra

Roger Mudd   +Stoney Curtis too    mother had friends in high places

plus 4 children who  regularly vomited  cried over break-ups  a near suicide

countless nightmares  +a crazylove  that still reverberates through the fields

on Parchman Purdon farm

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Summer 2025  RIP  Marc Cohen 1957-2025  ..we had us some fun..

airbnb colossus where superhosts sing u to sleep and jerk off in yer ear

have you ever prayed hard so the washer wouldn’t overflow?  like coming

home from vacation to find a flood in your soulhole   where can you go?

that doesn’t feel like a prison  of crowds  noise  the sick drug ridden

huddled in alleyways   someone’s sister son father brother mother

the holy ghost    broken +maim

does it mean the vacation was good?  or a deepsuck  where you lose

your bearings  for $10,869  or  does it mean your life is off course?

deeply disturbed terrain   varicoseveined  +no amount of PEI

red clay can save you now   blessed old suckermouthed lady

__

Summer 2025  ..in the jungle the mighty shvitz jungle..💃🏻🏙

falling in love with the swamprat rimbaud

Frank Stanford  the latest suicided writer I have fallen for

29   three (!) shots to the heart   add to the list  Virginia Woolf

59   rocks in pockets  walked into the Ouse

Sylvia Plath  gassed herself at 30  young children in bedrooms

warm milk at their doors  her son Nicholas died by suicide  47

death by hanging   yes children of suicides  suicide too   often

my own brush with   deathbed deshabille  at 10  was messy  with

moist coverlet  i saved the young mum  who walked into the water

with her dress full of  jewels   like in the Romanov execution

bang💥

bang💥

oh sweet Jesus the levees that break in my heart

(Frank Stanford   The Snake Doctors  1971)

Then there is forced suicide  i bet you’ve never heard of that  Socrates

+Seneca too  it’s a method of execution  not unlike suicide by one’s own

hand  except the victim is yet  unwilling  unready

but a fate worse than death awaits:  torture  humiliation  family+friends

tortured too  or killed  though you know  sometimes life itself presents you

with this kind of choice   no?

we will  blind + maim  your husband  your mother  father  brother   et al.

you can jump in the river and drown  or  you can stay  change dressings

+ howl at the moon

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Summer 2025  ..keep on passing the open windows..and do avoid railway tracks..