songanddancegirl

free falling

the fortunate fall? now don’t get all biblical about your

trip-up  sister  so you missed a stair  bigfuckingdeal  so

you bounced like a 69 yr old: rubbery-bones  gristle +squirt  

a ton of ancient jew bricks  oldlady rumpled bruised putrifacto

gobsmacked   too late  yer in it   animal-flailing inside   oh

the horror  caught  trapped  now gnaw yer leg off old sport!

but no  you the ninja-meditator  gladiator  in mindful ecstasy

you realize that you have exactly three seconds  to reclaim your

dignity    dig it?

shitstreaks

mitre cracks

you sit a bit

choose not to cry    (for me  Argentina)

breathe deep the scents

of terror  +humiliate

loss of control  of limbs

crepey skin  triple-chin

flaccid bottleneck

rattle+hum    ok i’ll stop

instead you shove  a jagged bone-fragment  back into its socket

straighten up  un-gimp  a once magnificent renaissance foot  now

bunioned  +freakishly bent  you rise up  fly high above your mouldy

yellow house

things get really small  especially your husband  who is portly

+bakedgood   he promised you a second moon   the stars!  ✨

when all you really wanted    was his money

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Spring Exinox in 2 days  …bye bye winter bye bye

..show me the money..

eyes wide shut

did you read about the Extremely Large Telescope in the news today?

(it’s really called that!) sits on a Chilean mountain top  capable of gathering

100 million times more light than the human eye  took 15 yrs to build  cost

2 billion bucks   Expensive Avoidance Mechanism  for humans too terrified

to look inside

recently i did just that  first stop a forest of chia seeds  an old bro + i  took

the Chia Challenge  he blew up like the Pillsbury doughboy  while i  like the

Goodyear blimp  we nearly died from knife like stabs  to the spastic colon

both spastic from an early age   he more so

but i must describe the smells wafting:

old brisket

rotting King Crab

brainstem putrifacto

afterbirth

foreskin    (don’t ask)

then quite close to the heart  the soul’s longings:

freedom

peace

a pink Fiat 500    (feel free to send me one from Amazon)

mother

father                      (hey your dead reside inside!  duh)

Big Bro Martino

your fave dead poet  who crooks a finger    Come here girl ..    

he is covered in caked-blood + leeches  suicided at 29

i’ll give you cosmic orgasm!  (perhaps TMI?)  i think you can see

genteel reader  why most  DO NOT  look inward  EVER   therapy likely

the devil’s work    therapist the devil’s concubine

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Winter 2026  ..it’s been a lonnnnng winter..

who by slow decay? who by her own hand?

the drama of suicide  do they all have that crazed look in their eyes?

i mean it’s pretty brazen  no?

Anna Karenina

Virginia Woolf

Frankie Stanford

Jules Renard’s mother (jumped into a well)+father (shotgun to belly)

Candy

David’s bro off a tall building  spitting image of Jesus

Jeff G from high school

Elliot A  ditto

Anne Sexton

Marilyn

Cobain

Rothko

Plath with a new born+3yr old in bedrooms   sleeping

Icarus flew  too   Nathan Schwarz Salant  my Jungian mentor said: there is

no such thing as attempted suicide  attempts are attempts  period   but what

about Anna Karenina  Nathan?  she changed her mind as the train was upon her

there is no hiding from a train  Aprill

how about the lemmings throwing themselves off of cliffs? is that even true?

Hitler+Braun do theirs count?  more cowardice + escape   so not tortured

+ raped

hari kari

hari krishna

hari hari

no one can know  but definitely brazen    yes

__

Death is no artist..  

Jules Renard  The Journal  1909

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Winter 2026  ..the sun will come out tomorrow.. bet your bottom dollar..

what i did on my summer vacation circa 1965

they took me to the mountains  to a cottage on a lake pond

marsh  green algae globs  smell of death’s door mild sewage

+slop  how can a man with a badly burned hand drive a car?

son from 1st wife who died in a car crash  turned the stove on

Eli sank his hand into the foodcaked coil  flesh stink+incinerate

he was left with a blackish red  snake stigmata

he married our simple cousin whose father drove the getaway car

Canada’s youngest bank robber  pardoned by the King  10 yrs in

prison  molested many of the girls+boys in the family  interestingly

not me  i had a father named Lee  who would have disembowelled him

George had puffy cheeks + a garbled voice  he’d sucked on a loaded

rifle  sometime in his youth  he always seemed really nice

__

Winter 2026  ..your family reads like a broadway play..

how does water not slide off a mountain?

how could they send me there  with him?