they let the kids watch movies
and they don’t want to get off
the table!
the under 3’s are sedated
the under 3’s ??
__
…many are broken by the weight..a few..are not..
Summer 2024 ..summer radiation machinations.. at the Princess Margaret..💥💥
every morning i gaze into a round magnifying mirror
i gave to my mother months before she died she’d hide
the mirror daily fearing her staff would steal her soul
along with the mirror cutlery +clothes
the detritus of a life given away at the
side of the road
we’d search for that mirror each remaining day and find it
reflecting our hands holding each other’s fingers tight
forever entwined our fingers knew first
of the coming severing
searching for each other
with growing desperation
knowing our days were numbered she said
it’s coming be strong i walked her to the edge
the brink staring back gnashing gnarly black
now we meet in the mirror many times a day
vain my middle name ! she watches me age and
suffer the current apocalypse
she whispers apes you can get used to anything
you’ll learn how to bare the flagellate the thorns
now poking into son-in-law’s skull
things so dark i sometimes forget which side of
the mirror i am on her eyes shine brightest now
to light my path thru these wretched days
then the mirror
spits me out
mothered
and i can carry
it all for at least
another day
or two
__
Summer 2024 ..home stretch..
commencing countdown engines ON everyday
my husband travels to another land through a
portal over on Murray St.
brainzap skull luminous beam on💥
i had an evil uncle by that name right out of Dickens
Murray a scrooge of a man now a scourge has taken Major Cam
to a land where metastatic mystics +low born dwarves toil
over the philosopher’s stone one day upon his return
he said: the globes are made of glass+crystal fragile
beauty i will wrest from the hands of King Chordoma
a kind of mutant overlord who visits the anointed 1 in 1
million each year i’ve been collecting skulls for millennia
and i have never seen a leonine masterpiece the likes of yours
so take your protein pills +put your helmet on this is a
strange ride dubious radioactive +oppenheimer the
mystics say with much certainty this gnarly Scot is here
to stay
__
Summer of Cam 2024 🦁🦁
there’s a light a special kind of light
on Murray St. a place where 76,000
souls are beamed up annually
is this what God envisioned? when
he boomed LET THERE BE LIGHT
or was he referring to
a shard of light aimed at the naked
apeman to cathect consciousness
out of the murk
to the smirk of mystics everywhere
why wake the beast up? leave him
to squat in caves unfissoned +unwashed
__
Nina tripping the light fantastic…
Summer 2024 ..come and trip it as ye go..on the light fantastic toe..
(1632 John Milton)
my childhood bestie a standard poodle named Blackie
father at his most creative other times he would feign
getting dressed as he was coming home (u figure that one out!)
Blackie was regal and quite Russian with his tall poodle
hat i named him Verst not Verscht though he loved a
good salami
verst is an obsolete Russian unit of length so much of life
now obsolete the bodies of our father mother brother the
bones of Verst the poodle
when Verst died father baked him into muffins and fed
the holy wafers to us at the side door the milkman’s door
the one through which mother gave a slovenly bulldog away
the one through which the milkman crept into the house
in the wee hours and left his smile on a brother’s face
__
Summer 2024 ..all hail Verst Blacksonovitch..
men with cancer will grudgingly let you hold their penises
as they pee into the filthy hospital toilet but then they will
stumble into you and rue you because you can
enter my brother who pushes me hard as i steady him
i mean are you going to let the BIG fucker smash his
beautiful face on the cold tiles? later bloodpours almost inexplicably
men i suppose women too all people well most except my
mother eke agency i used to call it will until my husband’s
chordoma taught me to go public with my impotence my privacy decimate
agency ignite 💥 💥 am i tough enough rough enough hard enough?
and i hate this i hate the treacle the well meant did he
have to relearn anything? no he’s exactly the same
to a tee FORRRRRRRE!
but i won’t forget soon the voiceless growl he greeted me with
on the first stretcher and the tall Russian man who carted us
to the imaging rooms where i said close your eyes don’t look
it was 3am 23 hrs after
i woke up
on the first day
of the
rest of my life
__
Summer Solstice 2024 ..saviour complexes suck..
do avert eyes from sad hallway skeletons on gurneys alone
dreams a mess dark apocalyptic messianic with screaming😱
and the darkest hour is just before dawn?
7 wks ago the light went missing
along with the shredded remnants of a life lived
in the shadow of this? yea tho i walk thru the valley
of the shadow of death i will fear no evil nor scalpels
nor cameras endoscopic
there is no such thing as bad luck wakethefuckup!
there is just human life that fragile matrix barely
holding us in matter the skeleton a cage
now the RADIATION REDEMPTION MACHINE
(a.k.a. Old Smokey) has been given your name
masks of ego fade without a trace trumpets herald
your return to beginner’s mind to the pure open child
ready to meet dwarves+mystics Jesus Buddah ET
the Gods inside the machine they gonna set you FREE
__
Summer 2024 ..the light at the end of the tunnel..🌄 ..for Cam🤠
do you know the difference between a dead body
and an alive body? i mean from personal experience
for starters the warmth evaporates ebb reek ebb reek
now redolent of compost? earth? sacred bodily substances?
so hard to know schmo a neighbour called my bro a schmo
he was from Caracas via the holocaust he knew redolent+reek
but seriously once the warm fades and this happens quickly
a stiffness+chill pervades creeping sheets grow damp with
human stain fingers curl in Martian postures
it’s kind of ET-esq WAX ON biggest breath known to mankind
chest heaves savouring +life HEAVE HO (schmo) c’mon a little
gallows humour won’t kill you!
then the penultimate followed by the most sacred ultimate last
human breath EVER where you are going breathing is overrated
bodies irrelevant
so cherish warm un-ET fingers watch your peeps breathe and try to
live each of your own human breaths cause soon enough lungs will be
irrelevant and you’ve gotta make that okay
__
Spring 2024 ..befriend the harbingers..🦅🦅
OH can you kill the DNA in the cells of my
memorybank Oppy? de-bulk resection
the hospital stay all putrifacto+lobotomy
or is it now part of what makes me old gnarly as fuck ape?
fuckthat this one was mild compared to the others
can i get a witness hey what about me?
( ..i used to be pretty.. )
the screaming in the night was a laughcry was that
a child? we asked horrified NO it’s an adult they said
cryptic-grimace Nurse Rached-esque
we heard it again weeks later in the ante-room of Aristotoles a
small angelic brainsurgeon in green Converse Apreeeeeel he said
i have never damaged a carotid artery
he knocked on wood convulsively lucky not to be the first not
this time when cancer says i like you you say why me? and the
maddog universe says
why not you!
__
Spring 2024 ..soon on the otherside..💥💃🏻..and marching onward!
i want to hear new albums from my favourite dead rockers
you heard me DEAD ! imagine the creations post body
post tethered to the spacetimeheadfuckcontinuum
a friend’s bro died in his sleep yesterday wife found him
inert and rictus another has a rare cancer another a not
so rare alienmutation
at 17 i suggested a book title to father CANCER COLONY
Dad ! .. everyone in the world has cancer even cows.. 🐄 🐄
father nixed it deep six it girl +when he groangrowled
YOU LISTENED
you see mother had just been vivisectioned but a couple of
years later much to my horror i learned that Solzhenitsyn had
pilfered my title fuck you Aleksandr
(The Cancer Ward sold millions)
so do you think Lou is still writing about Candy giving head
on an unmade bed? oooops that was Leonard ! i highly doubt it
now that they flirt with the Godhead the little head rotting+shriven
__
..and the coloured girls go
doo do doo do doo do dooooooooooo..
(Lou Reed & AAC .. Spring 2024)
Spring 2024 ..for Lee Atkins..A MAN..1921-1989..
songanddancegirl... at 4
songanddancegirl 