songanddancegirl

Navalny Bibas Navalny Bibas Navalny Bibas

a lumpen brother  has called this poet  a besmircher

really i am just a girl who is into  MERCH  all the way

on any given day  i flaunt Kahlo  Lucinda  +the NBA

 

*(not nearly as shallow  as i might appear)

 

admittedly horrified  by Time’s   Person of The Year 🏆

how about  Alexei Navalny  or Kfir Bibas?  (baby Israeli hostage)

both posthumously   Alexei murdered in prison  Kfir in a bunker

 

 

so is this just sourgrapes  apes?   i don’t think so   with a platform

of  100 million  12-24 yr. olds  Tay could   CHANGE THE WORLD

go ahead!  challenge the swiftie hivemind  to fight for causes  near+far

 

 

education for girls in Afghanistan  birth control  safe abortion  equal pay

marital rape laws  genital mutilation   but no  our culture elevates the rich

the beautiful  the private plane      the mundane

 

growing up at my father’s knee  i learned: don’t spend other people’s money

and do  spend more time with your dog  all of this is not Tay’s fault  but how

about a little   swiftie-consciousness-raising   O Personage of The Year?

__

..Forbes puts Swift’s net worth at an estimated $1.1 billion on the low end..

based on analyses of her fortune..

Winter 2024    ..Oh Bartleby  Oh Humanity..

his trophy wife for life

tinywaist  numerous gentleman callers

dowry  semi-sizeable   slender +torture

35 yrs. in a waring blender

 

well she really worked me over good

 

 

dénouement riffs   lean to maudlin  but there is

no elegant way to say: i never thought it would

be this hard   or this fucking amazing grace

__

..this life is both beautiful.. and cruel..  Carl Gustav Jung

 

 

Winter 2024     ..thanks Carl..

where the hell is Elijah?

when you need him most  when you cannot tell  if they

are praying over Lee  or cutting out  his beating heart   37 yrs. ago

your father  was on ice   in an ICU   on  University Avenue

 

heart by-passed  oh this’ll save yer life  not only did it not

it rather left him in a purgatorio  that lasted for the rest of it

and he   NEVER   complained

 

he was too much of a rebel  for that  bitch-shit

 

he listened to jazz   conjured up his dogs   a concubine or 2

and with as much dignity as he could muster  sat and loved us

for 5 fucking years  until the birds came  on his final day

 

he had a scar from his ankle to his breastbone  beautiful

jagged    just like him   and on quiet nights when the voice of Ella

floated up   daddy +his old dog Jim   howled at the moon

__

 

Winter 2024    ..a year older than i.. when he died..  RIP Rockin Daddy!

 

the grinch who stole swiftmas

Taylor Swift  a pop princess  Santa on steroids

they track her  +her reindeer  (aka..rein it in dear)

across the un-friendly skies

 

she is apparently  singlehandedly  destroying the

environment  with her emissions  vocal+otherwise

gaseous pop  until you drop

 

 

she is the light  $$$$  in Donna Kelce’s eyes  perhaps

soon to marry her son Trav   all buffoon +tight end   at

the conclusion of the Super Bowl  he pounded his chest

 

a scary-hairy ape  cameras panned to Tay’s face  oh the horror!

we saw a sweating Trav approach her  with a  come here girl  

bellow   as he grabbed her well coiffed tail

 

 

perhaps you read into  the green with envy here   but surely  if i

had my own private jet  i would spend my days ferrying orphans

from war torn environs

 

or would i?

__

 

Winter 2024    ..even old Joe Biden wants her..

drop off the key Lee + set yourself free

at 24   Lee enlisted  WW II in full swing   12 yrs. later

he became  my sweetfather  i was  his only daughter

in my grade 6 autograph book he wrote:

 

to the greatest little filly of them all

 

that was on August 16th  the same day he died  decades later

at 68  of a brokenheart   life’ll kill ya  then yer dead  sang Zevon

+he was right   life pummelled Lee  +Lee pummelled life

 

same for Elvis  who also died on August 16th   houndogs both

 

 

father’s military file describes him accurately: powerfully built

smart  cocksure  a semi-pro athlete  +boxer   Atkins may prove

a problem in training   he may want to be  the boss

 

 

i think that i am cocksure too  though as a woman there are

other less flattering designations:  ballbuster  bitch  witch

i’m daddy’s girl     so don’t mess with me mister

 

5 husbands under my belt   3 i killed  with my bare hands

the other 2  remain devoted   but back to daddy   another

descriptor was:  temperamental instability 

 

i believe this to be  a catchall phrase  for cocksure men  with

piercing blue eyes  +big muscles  such men (+women)  can be

moody  angry  anti-social  +anti-authority

 

this apple did not fall far  from the Lee-tree

 

father was fiercely introverted  +did not suffer fools  with a steely

gaze he’d size up interlocutors  as would a tiger   in the wild  🐅

desk-dweeb assessor   lucky he wasn’t eaten

 

he saw  daddy’s moody depths  a wild young jazzcat  yearning to

be free    a fearless warrior   not amenable to  captivity

A Man

__

addendum: Lee’s brother was a coward  who hid in a closet from

1939-1945  +feigned a clubfoot  to avoid conscription  later in life

he stole Lee’s inheritance

 

Winter 2024   ..the root word for angina..is anger

 

 

 

i know an old lady who swallowed a fly perhaps she’ll die

yesterday whilst being crucified by yet another  gorypoem

a fly  flew into my nose  i know you will never look at me

in the same way    tuffnuts

 

but that is what happened  hard to pretend when a filagreed

wing protrudes  iridescent +torn  said fly did not emerge for

48 hrs.    okay  enough with the flies to shit jokes bros

 

so  was this fly giving me bubonic?  or comforting the other

creatures trapped within me   including my 1st husband

who among you has not eaten a living thing  or 2?

 

flowers  ants  e.coli  pieces of a throbbing heart you broke  bitch

i swear that fly visited  my soulhole   +reached nasal-nirvana

pre being ripped away   a buzzin + a shrieking🪰

 

 

what exactly did he find during his body-cavity search?   hair

the scent of sausage-debris   nostalgia galore  scent of mother

dogs  a horse  sex    +death  of course

 

also the scent of floral bath beads mother used to entice me with

dirt smudged  burrs in hair   faintly-fecal  wildgirl  ravine-pirate

hated bathing  hence a poetic bro’s refrain: you just stink a little bit    (oh so funny)

 

that exotic beadfume continues to envelope me  especially on graveyard

visits  when mother wafts up   it is always Spring inside my nose  (my name

in several languages)  + that’s no place for a rotting fly named   Harman🪰

__

Winter 2024 Imbolc  ..seeds stirring..winterflies resurrect..

 

 

 

 

 

lonnnnnng poem blues

the Jungians say  *individuation  begins when your

Gods die   the final 3rd of my life officially began

when at 65   an orphan made

 

98 yr. old mother in her final resting place   a not

so verdant cemetery   deadflowers  and a rude-dude

gravedigger

 

lady  it’s a hole   it’s not  Shangri-La !

 

my burly bros pulled me off the man  I’ll give you a hole !  

my own individuation  will be complete   replete with

lilies  + dungbeetled   when this orphan girl  dies

 

 

my work with orphans  over 30+ years: redolent of  bomb

shelters   of fantasy dates  at the Olive Garden  outcasts don’t

date  of never recovering from grandfather on the floor  from 9-5

 

he died while babysitting   stiff  +not answering  (grandad also dad)

 

all of my orphans begged to be taken  HOME   plaintive yelps

the odd kick  therapist how many guns do you have?  how will

you protect me?       i’ll do the best i can

 

i recently read about the reformed mobster  TJ Martin  also an orphan

his villain origin story: beaten savagely by stepmother  lived on the streets

from 16   his own infant twins   killed in a car crash   their mother too

 

TJ had one last score to settle with society   he is the man who stole

Dorothy’s slippers  now in hospice care  in prison  wheelchair bound

+oxygen tanked   Terry John was desperate to   GO HOME

 

 

who isn’t?  lost found lost again   the ruby reds  DON’T work for chrissakes

Mr. L. Frank Baum   but would you really want to return  to that childhood

home?    where the family drama plays out  in an eternal loop

 

fresh scars  new dog  mistress or 2  a tyrant uncle festering

 

or are you brave enough to let it die?  set out through the dark woods  rather

than rot in a purgatory of   what might have been   i coulda been a contend-ah

i coulda been a somebody     could you have?     are you not?

 

 

no ruby slipper will save you

should you not know the answer

nor a shape shifting charlatan  wizard

in another era   magicians were crucified

__

*individuation: becoming completely wholly oneself    a.k.a.

not caring if you get invited to their California parties    know thyself 

 

 

Winter 2024  …God is Dead..Spurn the Herd.. Nietzsche+AAC

 

when i was a child i caught a fleeting glimpse

but i did not understand what i was looking at

a camera falling onto the freshlydead’s  grave

(a recurring reverie)  documentary  by the Gods

 

the film inside  chronicle of a lifetime  unobsured

by persona   everybreath step heights descents

passions losses splendour decay  depravations

 

you get the picture?

 

Lois died  cancerriddled  like her mother (and no i’m not done

with cancer quite yet)   i recall her face often    smeared with

red lipstick    freckled jovialmisery

 

mostly hidden by valium+booze   the gummies  of that generation

always astride  her bestie  a teenage widow  whose husband’s suicide

shrouded in mystery    a rich handsome jaguar

 

the girls in my hood were raised to  marry rich  +  take care of their

mothers  until the embittered end   i failed miserably at the former

Nobel prize for the latter

 

though mother preferred listening to jazz with a brother  she said

to me: you’ll visit when i’m dead   now a newbie-dead  her camera

fallen    obscura images   flashing through my sleepless nights

 

O what am i gonna do with this terrible freedom?

 

fucked if i know  gummies just upping  my maudlin  BUT lastnight

i was slipped  THE ANSWER  as i wept for my decomposing matter

joints degenerate + jelloskin    but thin

 

get this: life+death are just flipsides of the same coin!  a continuum

if you will   of consciousness  thebigbangbirth into matter  matter decays

pure consciousness remains    fullcirclejerk

 

the Monad   the Urobouros

 

 

you know  i’m just not numb enough

for these times

i see you all running

for the exits

COME POET  SHUT UP!

__

..last page of my 1st book: GO HOME..

..last page of my 2nd book: RUN   (while u still can)

 

 

Winter 2023  ..ain’t no sunshine for 40 days..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what’s it all about alfie?

save me from being trapped in a quasi-paradise  where

every dinner costs 200 bucks  +the eyes of locals glint

with  gringolust

 

last month i sold my restaurant list to rubes  who prayed

at altars of bbq brisket  +blue curaçao martinis   this year

i am going nowhere  fast

 

so i sit in my frigid city  dreaming of emerging from the egg

botticellicurls now shorn  +faded to a puddle grey   i’m ready

for my close-up    ready to be reborn  into my final 8

 

 

why 8?  some bastard at Harvard put the  checkout early bug

in my ear  he opined that by 75  one has done it all give or take

now it’s time to call   Dignitis

 

that not so secret-society  who tell you where the hemlock is hidden

i guess the ultimate carrot is the promise of immortality  no?  first

they get us to believe in Santa  ie., the Reaper in redvelvet

 

a jovial Jesus makeover   but you only get gifts if you are good

ditto the Reaper re: heaven  the place where your flushed tadpoles

now swim     (you flushed your pets down the toilet dear??)  

 

crossing the Styx is for dybbuks  +probably a lot more fun   i mean

do you want to spend eternity with do-gooders?  in any case  those

left behind  are clearly more stricken  than the new corpse

 

exquisite rictus   serenity to spare

 

 

today i strolled Philosopher’s Walk  in 25 below  the emergency call

site had a sign that said: OUT OF ORDER   i guess in the end  you

have to save yourself   from all of the jovial  run of the mill-misery

 

and i didn’t sell the  real  restaurant list!

__

..i sent them to ones where they spit in your soup..

Winter 2024  ..my aim was to set the tadpoles free..hands up if u believe me..

 

 

 

 

sister’s in the back seat with her head hung low

daddy drove around in a black rusted-out  used car

our elegant standard poodle named for a salami  held

his head high    so happy  to go for a ride

 

he worshipped father  who once carried him out of the

ravine on a chalkboard stretcher  +saved his life yet again

when a chicken bone lodged in his  blacksonavitch throat

 

his middle name  after a tzarist priest   the other Rasputin

i shrieked  and ran in circles  as daddy ejected said bone  he

also shouted at me: if you fall apart how can you save a life?  

 

i never fell apart again  currently held together with dirty twine

+wrigleys   but i did have precedent for  PANIC    5 yr. old witness

to my grandmother’s demise  a massive stroke  beside blue budgie

mother pulled at her hair +wailed  all medusa-harridan  my parents were

beautiful misfits  in our immigrant neighbourhood   where social climbing

was  a religion   a merciless stigmata

 

i wore the sign of suspected poverty on my forehead   Ash Wednesday

everyday  BUT  i was pretty +pretty smart (!)  so when the moleybitches

teased   i flirted with stardom

 

even Dorothy didn’t know that her old home was safe  inside her  like a

stillborn child   mine recently dropped from the sky  the black Consul in

the drive    C’mon father  let’s go for a ride!  

 

i’d give anything to sit

in that used car again

or would i?

__

..in life you work at dignity

in chain gangs of beauty+cruelty

O take me back to Parchman Purdon Farm..

 

Winter 2024 .. 1st poem..🌞🌻