songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

FANNY

FANNY AND ME

Her face was leathery+lined+dignified   She’d always

seemed ancient to me   Though my first memories from

about 3  place her squarely at my age now   Ancient?  Me?

Maybe    Leathery skin   Degenerated knee  +discs

Grey creeping in

 

Memory seeping a yellowy liquid  when worked too hard

Shards of glory days penetrate the purple haze   But wait!

They may be  NOW   in this intermezzo   this purgatorio

Before something wicked this way comes   Ungentle +crouched

in cells

 

Fanny once said to me: Why are you embarrassed?  Some people

live above stores   We’d been talking about my father’s rusted out car

Tiny + black    Crowded in the back   With: sweating  bleating  brothers

I hid   Especially from nouveau riche kids   The boy with an Elvis ducktail

 

Well if everyone lived above stores  I wouldn’t be embarrassed   But

they don’t   So I am   In her mind’s eye  an open palm slap  to my

morphing face   Soon to have her cheekbones   My father Lee  said she’d

never touched him as a child    Stoic woman  missed her mother   who

died at thirty three   Sent her to the Mayo Clinic but couldn’t save her

Ovarian treachery

__

 

..how when people suffer just so much they get mean and ugly

and something dies in them..  

(The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter  Carson Mcullers  23)

 

 

Fall 2017

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