songanddancegirl

not her first rodeo

our mother’s 1st quarantine was in 1931  at 7

in a sanatorium for tuberculins +the fevered

clothes burned before+after  frankly scarlet

i have the photo  she stands beside a tree  all

dickensian+waif   thin ragdress  palliddistress

not smiling  like those dustbowl kids  begrimed

+saintly

her sister julie  was taken by the other plague

the diphtheria  at 6   all trials are etched into

the central nervous system  yet mother’s doc is

blithely unaware of this

when she peppers me with pointed less questions

i play dead   what else can a girl do  as the covid

stalks her old mother

that early stint in solitary  paved the way for

a lifetime of dreading  ALONE   yet yesterday

she asked for a break  from  the facephone  !

can u all give me some space!  the couch is getting

crowded  and my brownbroth awaits   2 bowls!

as god is my witness   i’ll never be hungry again

__

..as god is my witness they’re not going to lick me..

i’m going to live through this if i have to lie, cheat,

steal or kill ..   (Scarlett  1936  + Frances  2020)

Spring 2020  ..8 weeks in solitary +counting..

amnesia is a coping skill.. *friedrich nietzsche

apparently so is holding in every feeling  you have had

since 1976  (year of  teenaged marriage  to numero uno)

the problem is:  bizarre breakout crymoans   which shall

heretofore be known as:  b to the 2nd +c 

think  being shivved

think  suckerpunch  suckers

think  racingheartmortis from  the backlog    (oh the backlog  said a loser uncle)

think  it’s my party + i’ll cry if i  fuckingwantto

don’t worry

just joshin yas

__

..i am not a man  i am dynamite..  

(Friedrich Nietzsche  Ecce, Destiny, 1)

** ..the ability to self numb + dissociate  can lead to abrupt alien abduction  

(a to the 3rd)  as feelings are in high demand on frozen planets..    

(AAC  psycho therapist+poet)

Spring 2020 ..hands up if u really want trump in a mask?..