"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

the rising

his mother died in a river  his father in a

burning bed  he was Cree  8 yrs old   and

my client


as we discussed Kurt Cobain’s suicide  head

blown off  at 27   he said:  therapist  we can’t

know that 


at some point i stopped trying to convince him

+let the wisdom of his words land   this as the

wonderwoman doll he played with   EXPLODED!


legs fell off  arms went flying  play therapy

bomb-revelation  a life without revelation is

a life  not worth living


his  we can’t know this  revelation  was perfect   +gnome

as my mentor Sharansky said: most suicides are

in reality  attempts   gone wrong


take Anna Karenina’s death  the train she lays

in wait for  is upon her  as she tries to stand up

but it’s too late   the train has it’s way with her


the bullet  with Kurt Cobain  we can never know

who will rise up in those long last moments   my

suicide-rescue  seemed to


though did she really?  or is this woman a ghostly

doppelganger   masquerading as the one  who

desperate +bug-eyed   swallowed    +swallowed




…at the same moment she was horrified at what she was doing..

what am i doing? why? ..she wanted to rise.. but something huge

and implacable pushed at her head and dragged over her…forgive

me for everything!    (Anna Karenina  Leo Tolstoy  1878)



Summer of BA.5

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