songanddancegirl

death becomes them?

what many don’t understand is that

when u pull the plug on a loved one   or 3

u pull the plug on yourself

how could it be otherwise?  Your leftfoot

remains at the edge of said precipice for

some 18 months   give or take

you are now fearless re: the big bangless bang

you realize  the futility  the utter absurdity

of staving it off     (as if)

also  you intimately know  how an entire existence

is snuffed out   the grandeur  the devastatio   the name

in one second   gone   never to be another

Harry Lee

Frieda

Martino

Me

you flirt with the shrewish reap   who doles out

the elixir of sleep   you fuck with your parachute

eat tenders  kick the halfnaked crossing-guard in her  lardbelly

go ahead  arrest me!  kill me!  run me over!

the peace of that crooked smile  beguiles

the frozenvisage   dentures in place  (I can’t remove them..she might bite me..)

rigored fingers

bewitch

+beckon

our dead  our heroes  who have gone where we

fear to tread   now become extraordinary  +brave

face it   death   (especially murder)    thrills us

but here you are  left standing  yet again  dickinhand

at the pearly gates   with a  HUGE  craving  for

 sex+candy

__

..the courage to die is the test of the courage to live.. (AAC+Socrates..)

Summer 2023  ..enough already with the death thing..

The Hoopin Reaper

i lay around in leather shorts  a transmuted  Beard

hooping has messed with my head   you see  i came up

in the bubble

you remember?  when we couldn’t leave our homes

pestilencepolice everywhere  drag u in for a nose-rape

+body cavity-search

as we lay hunkered   we each took to separate screens

mine played the NBA   24 hrs a day   the scent of death

wafting

what i’ve mostly learned in these covidtimes: if death becomes

you   you want me on your team!   I am  clutch   the thing is

even if you’re only a little bit dead    i will go  Kavorkian

pull the plug

pick+roll

a little euro

Oh  i have moves

that make the Reaper

weep

__

rage rage against the dying of the light  (Dylan Thomas 1937)

Spring 2023 ..i am not crying now..i am nothing.. (As I Lay Dying.. W. Faulkner 1930)

my fling with Cormac McCarthy cancelled

Cormac dead at 89  yesterday   drifted away

in Santa Fe  my bags were packed  +stalking

him was my main concern

there is much gore  in Cormac’s books:

a slit throated baby  one eyegouged   men

on the range   sodomized+smiling

deathmasked minions  wink

McCarthy captures the nuanced depravity of

the gibbering ape  written in blood  sometimes

dripping off of   a big RED sun

baking that blood into creosote+interstices  into

the earth’s DNA   mamas don’t let your babies be

cowboys    or inhabit the cabins of Appalachia

all serial killered  +incested    Cormac knew that

we are mostly not human   we are the only species

on the planet  who kill for pleasure

who among you has not tortured a frog?

__

..a dark smile erupted on the child’s throat ..it hung there

black blood pumping down its naked belly..the mute one was

drooling  he seized it up and buried his moaning face in its throat..

(Outer Dark  Cormac McCarthy  1970)

Spring 2023  ..my bombs give me catharsis.. the Unabomber RIP?..dead at 81 took great pleasure in flying fingers+ubermutilation..Harvard trained mathematician demented serial killer+terrorist..

Addendum:

• A morgue manager at Harvard Medical School sold body parts from donated cadavers and let buyers choose which parts they wanted ..June 2023..

happiness is for amateurs?

happiness is a warm gun?

happiness is for the happy?

+apparently cannot be bought

don’t believe it!

a fleeting +rumoured carrot

donkeyhordes buy it   myself

included

3 mts ago dropped 11,324 bucks

in Curaçao  root word  cure   also

dropped to the churned-up pavement

left some knee DNA  +a few rotted out

dreams   of what life could be  on

turquoise water   24/7    365

happiness did not follow me along the

jetstream    to my home+native land

now on fire from sea to burning sea

*4.5 million hectares burned since January

the alive think the dead are dying to

return   don’t believe that either   now

free from the coil  from husband #3’s   infidelities

from old  or sick  or bus-hit  slackskin

bodies   where the girl from Ipanema

is now walking

face it:   happiness is for the tanned

the tall   the lovely   Curaçao tan faded

knee darkscar emblazoned   all devil+rorschach

today my national newspaper tells me  that

soon  all restrictions will be lifted   from

dying with dignity laws

now ask yourself:  why would the alive

legalize  suicide  for all?   you still there?

i’m waiting    get back to me when you

return from emptying the shelves  of happiness

better than hoarding toilet paper    no?

__

*during our recent pandemic Canadians hoarded

24,140,000 rolls of  t.p.  ..10,000 times the number

of burned trees

Spring 2023  ..RIP Astrud Gilberto..when she flies she’s like a samba..🧚‍♀️

carry that weight

lucinda william’s lantern jaw seems to have resolved itself

she southern gothic  me jewish gothic  +other similarities

who doesn’t wish they’d gone on the road like lucinda?

..happy shall be he that taketh and dasheth thy little ones

against the stones..  (Psalm 137:9)

leave the gothic homestead   of love  and hide you in a cellar

from the nazis redemption   i recently read that: not only are

you haunted by your own ghosts  but by those of your ancestors

chains jangling   bonyghost fingers pointing at your 3rd eye

jewish gothic makes Ebenezer’s posse pale by comparison   bloodrites

schmaltz   ovens  etc.,  (we even have the pedophilic driver of the getaway

car in Canada’s biggest bank heist!)    ABRUCH

but here’s the secretsauce people  according to my gnomic +jewish

meditation guru  you  DON’T  have to carry that weight   like Faulkner

who lucinda’s father considered an asshole   meditation teaches:

ditch the past   it itches like headlice   scratch   but don’t allow

boreholes into your soul   a good bottle of  chlorhex  shampoo  should

kill the girls  in bubba’s brothel

the road to hell is paved with

madaunts  mistresses of the fathers

+the renowned beauty of our women

RUN

__

Spring 2023  ..treading the dead world under  like rats on a wheel..Cormac McCarthy

i love u mama u sweet

been reading biographies lately  Rickie Lee+Lucinda

as Lucinda’s mother Lucy is being taken away in an

ambulance  for dementia praecox outbreaktus  (madness incarnate)

Lucinda peers out the blinds  neighbour lady called in

or barged in  (noseyfucker)    tells her:   DON’T LOOK

but if you don’t look   you can’t intervene   save her   plan her   escape

now can you  stout neighbour?   your Jaguar does not make

you beautiful   au contraire   so i wonder   is this how one

becomes a seer?      just be careful what you see

you can unthink   but you cannot unsee   sights burned into

psyche  eviscerate +3rd degree   Annie Oakley as father called

me   would have known what to do

if all else failed she could take her gun  +shoot out the lights

so no one else could see  the ignominy of such a scene  or poke

said neighbour lady  in the ribs  with butt of glock

you think your shit don’t stink!

you Barney Rubble doppelgänger !

you shtetl rube!

mother now tucked cozy  box beside father’s box

ruby slippers glittering   resurrected   in me

__

Spring 2023  ..i’m 66 yrs. old and i look just like my mother..

hair today gone tomorrow

we talked and talked  about girlhooddreams  +brittlerealities

as salt+pepper gnarl  fell to the floor at our feet     66 +43

she shearing me ✂️

she asked about our customs  now watching a jewish matchmaker

show   also about my  arranged  marriage to  numero uno   it was

not brief    a decade of ruin  +grief

 we talked too about virginhood  + shattered cherrydreams   about

that  thing  that goes rigid   +stands at attention  who knew?  both

with 3 bros   but neither had penis-envy     Dr. Freud

she middle-aged   me entering my dotage  wastrel+lean   a meanmachine

both still looking for that  specialsauce    a deeper well   a holier grail

she: with swiping right there really isn’t a sense of rejection   anymore

you just move onto the next potential date  do u know what ghosting is?

me:  why yes I do!    and soon I will be a ghost 👻      

for real

__

 ..the old woman turned, a small bent androgyne, and brooded in

a palpable miasma of rot…(Cormac McCarthy  Outer Dark  1968)

Spring 2023  ..the transmutation of ape+elvis  now complete..

blonde on blonde

sitting beside a too blonde family  perfect avocadotoasts

smashed on multigrain  (26 bucks)  a chipmunk stuffed toy

brings out the aggression in me

also one crawling blondepretty   getting too close to my

extremities  i not so imaginally kickslap mr.chipmunk   oooops

now get that bucktoothed fucker away from me!

why so Oscar today poet?  i guess the first no-mother mother’s day

hangover   busybusy at the cemetery  millennials absent   the dead

not  woke enough  for them

mostly final third-ers  in fancycars  bought with shekels  from now

muddy ancestors   we linger  watching redwing blackbirds   🦅🦅

watching us

one bomb dived a brother so violently  he ran in circles  calling for our

childhood nanny  Mrs. B   likely pushing up daisies   today he told me of

a friend’s aunt who will suicide with assistance later this week

married to a man  whose first wife needed no such assistance   blonde

dybbuk now being vigorously spanked  for spitting green regurgitate

at me   by its mother  who coughbarks loudly   (with spittle)

but life goes on

and i likely need

new environs

+ my mother

__

Spring 2023  ..perhaps enough said..

dr. frankencream

i sat in front of a morose neurologist  what is

this strange tinglescreetch  in my head?  rightside

unholytemple  eye  nose  jaw   now 4 times monthly

well 4 migraines are better than 16   said she   the

goal is not to  cure you   it is to beat you down with

rudesledgehammer  +unmercy

altered state walk home  alone of the alone   donut

from hell exploded onto softshiny birthday satchel

SPLATTTTTT   goes banana cream   head igniting 🧨

shortwalk back to hospital  where neurologist hunkers

+vitriolic   i grab her by 3 foot braid   so staid   so dowdy

so  i dont care about you old lady  

(this drug works on old people too..)😱

i drag her back to the donut shop  where young lithe

donutworkers  cover her in crèam-anglaise   there too  a Rottweiler

who lickbites+slobers   over her entirety

last seen sliming up  Bay St.

trailing the blackest heart

you have ever seen

creamydonutslut   be gone!

__

Spring 2023 (..so terribly un-pc..come pillory me  +bring donuts..please)

take these broken wings

our parents lying sidebyside  with a bro wedged in

we druids danced to secondline swing  the soil soaked

+tadpole  (a few swimming against the shetl tide)

blackbirds singing in the dead wetlight  no brokenwings here

no bodies needed  anymore   heartbreastbladder   what for?

angels fear to tread in human form    i wonder why?

now saints +spectral   our peeps floating above paganchildren

football horse silkgown   soon the kids won’t need their bodies

+marvel at how quickly  this new reality  alights

weren’t we just destroying gardens on a bright Mother’s Day?  

cops called  wildchildren spanked by football bro  he of the oily

white ashes  resting in sacred ground

all the while  the Reaper winks

they to pizza  parking tickets

final 3rd    +drinks

hiphiphooray 🎉

__

Spring 2023  ..RIP  frances  lee  +marty..