songanddancegirl

what a husband does in the woods stays in the woods

fuck the head swiftie for stealing my new bf  Travis Kelce

preceded by Alex Anzalone  of the blondemane   when it

comes to men   i am not deep

though i remain ardent re: a longstanding no creeps policy

husband #3 is decidedly  hunk  a lifetime forest ranger  tight

with Yogi    Boo Boo his favourite tentmate 🤟

apparently BB  intense bear-gastritis   husband briefly dated

boob’s sister-in-law Bruin Hilda  too   though he kept his huge

hands  off of Yogi’s  Cindybear   with the greatest of difficulty

he is definitely more simpatico with bearnakedladies

human girls too clean-shaven  brazilians make him gag  (!)

(perhaps tmi )

in any case Travis Kelce will tire of Taytay  as did John Meyer

he who opined:  she is one limpfishy dullbiscuit queenbitchy

but John sleeps and tells  he said of Anniston: old boringskunky  COUGAR

yessssss!!!

__

Fall 2023  ..let she who has never felt envy..cast the first stone..

my haggis lover

husband #3 had a dream  haggish+fatefucked

yes! there is such a thing  he dreamed of  Morta

she one of the 3 sister fates  who cut the thread

of life   +choose the manner of your demise

she carried a slingshot  +launched death orbs at

young girls  et al.  once she tossed a can at a  20

something  who had escaped the rock  instant death

ensued💥

she did this  because she could   playing with us little

humans  her grimgame  Morta  ghastly  gaseous  gnashing

fell in love with Scotty  sent a near-human fly to bite me

at the cemetery   where i visited my freshly dead mum

it took a chunk from behind my lame knee  decidedly heart

shaped  the scar now jagged through the centre   Morta ate

of the pink flesh  +thought me brisket-ey   NOT as much

of a treat   as he

brawny  will eat every cracker in the house  as crumbs catapult

driving home from longish holiday  in homogeneously white

Ontario town   Morta raised her sling  she wanted rid  of me    rude bitch

then to sink her teeth into  scotchmorsel  he didn’t skip

a beat  drove sturdy  missing transport splatt by inches

the rock hit the windshield  my side    NOT today Morta

i want more of my sweet wife’s  decrepitude

today i sit under a giant tree  +wonder if it is the type

dropping thick trunks onto hipster heads  in my local

park   and as i  contemplate my narrow escape  i decide

that i am    out of

shrivelled+shriven

in a lakeside Ontario town  where low camp was invented

selling 60 buck  crafty felt gloves  with appliqué   there is a

perm-a-cross in the sky

with the words  lest we forget  scrawled across the goodyear

blimp  people my age limp  weighted down by smores  +regret

i sense they want more

here an old goatyhipster  sidelong Tom Waits energy   i can see he

is slighted by my aloof  don’t step one inch closer to me  glare   your

filmy bedroom eyes tell me   you are in need of pulleys+pumps

the much touted art exhibit  at the 18th century church  POSTPONED!

fairytales+fantasies  miniatures for the cancelled  (seriously)   i am told

that the artist suffered a tragic death in her family

by a woman with  a red lip  +yellowing wig   now i sip coffee at the Dizzybird

Cafe  where the merch is all march-hare🐰   i would never live here  though a

rather longish visit   reminds me  that i am not dead    as yet

__

Fall 2023  ..need a cheerier vacation spot..🌻

gravedigger’s blues

grave all chewed up   scorched earth  demeanour grave

as i karate chop cemetery manager   a frail+dastardly

man-elf  who lies baldfaced  to the grief wracked +barely living

the dead have his number  my mother would have unminced

words for him  she of the truth   unvarnished   she would say

+particularly to those with delusions of grandeur   we were poor

my mother had a

grocery store  

we lived upstairs 

and we always had food

proud daughter of  a pokerplayer+tailor  Jewish quarter Montreal

born 1924   her final cryptic-wisdom in the weeks leading up to

her death  at 98      i’ll tell him when he gets here 

he was coming for her  and she knew it  and she was fuckingfearless

he sang her songs  in the middle of the night  old standards from the

40’s   for this  we called a mediocre lady psychiatrist  who said:

your mother is deaf    (!)   i guess Benny Goodman at 4 am renders one

deaf   for this she attended  several universities  +taught at U of T    so

what did mother tell him when he got here?

and i quote:

you’re no match for me  you cowardly bastard  i dated the Ali Kahn

for chrissakes  sat with Sinatra in a choice booth at the El Morocco

how many times did you have to ring the doorbell at 4 am?

for this my kids nearly committed me!  

why you’re nothing but a 

2 bit door to door reaper  

and your voice    don’t ask !

__

Fall 2023  ..one year..rest easy mummybird ..🐦

the last cut is the deepest

they had 666 stitches between them  sewn

willynilly  into their skin  they wore their

crowns of thorns  with dignified aplomb

all 3 of them

father: they’re gonna cut me from stem to stern kids

martino: i was a q.b. this don’t frighten me  now get me

the fuck out of this bed

motherbird: if the bubba had balls she’d be the zaida  i was

too stupid to be afraid

NOT stupid  an innocent  like a captured bird  glamourpuss

in suburban deshabille  the 3 of them are my heroes  for their

bravery  in the face of  scalpelfrenzy

sometimes the cure is worse than the disease

glitch in heart-lung machinemonster 

curving scar breastbone to lumbar  armpit implicated

neo-bladderman rules the airwaves

And they rose up  without complaint  +lived to fight another

day   they stoked their fierce originality   for some 55 years

post-crucifixions      BRAVO

Summer 2023  ..Happy Anniversary Frances+Lee..without you..we’d be nothing👑👑

griefstew + fawns

i sit here stewing + grieving  sounds like a

morbid cooking show  cannedgrief  with a

side of stewed prunes  unblock those last

remnants of what is stuck

heartbloat gutwrench

guts not churning as much  but my dead peeps

are all around me  whispering  moving things

flashing lights   scaring the shit out of me

why not come in the front door?  sit down  take tea

sleep over    just don’t be dead  anymore   you can

do it!

this morning i reamed out the new cemetery guy

Jewish Mellors  sans the limp  your graves bedraggled

dry scorched earth  on the freshest mothergrave

i see beautiful lush greenery  at other cemeteries   i even

see  butterflies  fawns  leprechauns  i want a fucking refund

or i will be moving my peeps    posthaste

__

Summer 2023  ..i see trees of green..red roses too..

and i think it’s outta sight

he is gnomic  +wears fuchsia glasses   owns a home

tall +Victorian  little shop of horrors?  bursting flowers

all things Alice

my brother says he is grooming me  possibly to be the

catwoman to his gnomeman   he’s trying to get you into

his lair ape   that’s his M.O.🧌

i used to sit on a bench across from said lair  listenin to

hurtin cowboys +faded rockers  most dying or dead   now

i cannot sit there  as capedcrusader appears  almost magically

like those tiny red ants  currently swarming my bed🐜🐜🐜

but the chiaroscuro is finer near his haunt   my white boots

soft+cowgirl  take me there  all on their own  flirtatious old

woman   M.O.

yesterday the smallish man in pink glasses  invited me in

there were  pulleys+puddings  and faded dreams in a corner

Go Go boots are back bitches!   mine  now splayed

__

Summer of Love  .. do take note re: the upbeat flavour of this poem..🌞🌻

lost

all the portents pointed to it

ditto the dreams  the visions

the delirium too

the dead were travelling on buses

to have dinner with her  she too was

taking fairybuses  all over hell+gone

in her blue nightgown

to visit

her lost   (ape i have to get a bus  RIGHT NOW!)

yet it still did not dawn on anyone that

she would be making the final crossing

in a mere 6 wks

DUH   (dumbkopfs)

we might have escaped to Paris  where

she’d show me her haunts  now haunted

by her fragilespirit  dressed in silk moiré

she named me there  as she pranced to Basie

but we’ve used up all of our  one more onces   

+ i am left to age  in hipster parks

where i watch the mothers+daughters  in stores too

how they look alike  walk close  laughing   I’m sure

only I can see the frayingthreads  tethering them

to this spacetime continuum

those threads are gonna  SNAP ladies!  and like me

you will spend the rest of eternity  stroking the hand

of your    invisible mother

__

__

Summer 2023    ..please sir can i have once more?..

oh he’s swift

there are so many ants in my house right now

the carpet is covered in antshit  a foot deep

does an ant shit in the woods?  do u?    🐜🐜🐜

husband #3 does  +uses a branch aprés  but then

he is scottishgnarly  +never sorry for the shit   he

wreaks    +yes his shitstinks

(but not as bad as his hockey gear)

this week as i sweated over my latest artproject  a

glue-maleficence shitshow   ants glimmered  +stuck

to bits of my brothers  +to Jesus too

(i’d hole punched their pics)

you see my family is in the process of a resurrection

rising up out of the ashes of a brother  the graves of

our mother +father  now covered in cheappink flowers

(the shul bilks us for)

i’m not sure i want to be an artist anymore   i just wanna

buy italian cowboy boots  +star in spaghetti westerns  like

Gina Lollobrigida   my husband’s doppelgänger

(u see i adore a buxom man)

no  i want to grow  6 inches   +be like Taylor Swift

smarthusband said: when i see Taylor  i go biological

whereupon i kicked his haggis ass

__

Summer 2023  ..mamas don’t let you babies marry cowboys..

these birds

my father taught me how to catch birds  a brother

calls me Tippie  daddy said: carry a saltshaker kid

if you can throw some on it’s tail   it’s yours!

for years i slunk in tall grass  with salt + a dishtowel

until i was about 53  when it came to me  these birds

were catching me

time stands still when you hunker in grass  the pact of

Faust  who even had a black poodle   Mephistopheles

ditto me  his name  just Blackie  (father’s burst of creativity!)

over the years the birds grew  bigger  one taloned a brother

another scooped our mother  father was actually carried off

by hundreds of wrens    one with a dowager’s hump  now circling  me

i chronicle this at art school   my project seemingly sombre  is

actually rather uplifting  you see  after the dismembering  there

will be a gathering up  motherfatherbrother et al.  now taking tea

why with all of this positivity

who knows what mountains

i will climb  what streams i will ford

stop rolling your eyes

and tell me  what are u

grateful for?

__

Summer 2023  ..next poem.. sunshine+daffodils..🤟