songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

i didn’t call him daddybird for nothing

 

at 7 i had the strongest desire to catch a bird   father said:

take a dish towel +a salt shaker  +sprinkle salt on its tail

u cannot imagine how close i came   inching along on my

girlbelly

 

this bit of wisdom i found in a hassidic tale  some 40 yrs. later

father a hassid!   my ass   what i caught  was the desire to lay

quietly  for lengthy periods  in damp grass  alone   in zazen

bird-meditation    waiting

 

and waiting  is what father was really teaching me

no  the squirrel who fell from the roof  is not at the zoo little birdgirl            yet i wait

maybe father somehow knew  that one day i’d have waited 31 yrs.

+counting  to see him  it gets easier i guess  not as hard as in

the first 90 days  when bellycrawling  doesn’t begin to describe it

 

waiting now too   for the final 3rd to unfold   where a bird in the hand

would be  the rising   particularly on the beach  where father’s stallion

is known to graze   + the light at the end of the tunnel is a pair of

greenish-blue eyes

__

u just wait  

i will catch that bird  

find that beach

 

 

Fall 2020  ..the old boss..father’s doppelgänger..

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