"It's about words, and words are all I have…"



Am I watching him?  Or is he watching me?  I feel his

eyes every morning from my Juliet balcony   No doubt

he has seen much of my body   Today he is in pastels

This rotund man   My fire escape nemesis   Doppelgänger

of the man in my dreamscape at 36  who bellowed:




In Judaism  36 is double chai    Chai is life    This 2nd half

of life is  tricky   thorny    A crucifixion    Jesus was crucified

at 33  just before he entered the threshold   No knee replacements

Viagra  or anti- d’s    Here on this side  there is a certain amount of

rage involved


Rage   and redemption through suffering  the fire +brimstone years

of becoming your wizened Self    As your ghost’s ghost watches from

the shadows  and knows that:  We were together here once   Before the

letting go of hands   the dropping off one at a time   the losses without



Even the losses of earlier selves   Hopeful  lubricated selves  with plump

lips +pliable arteries   Yesterday  a depressed brother (more depressed than

me) told us he’d heard why it is  that time feels like it’s sped up   exponentially

It’s because when you’re young there are always new things to savour  New

experiences   New people   The first first    Now it’s all the same


As we sat there in a yearning silence   our mother  93  nodded knowingly:  It’s

an assembly line of bad food +psychiatric social workers who humour you

with bagels from your home town   And by the way  can you get me tickets to

a baseball game?   Her 19 year old self  in a white fox collar  scented with Emeraude

A sporty suit +gloves   pulled up a chair   Right there  as we ate mediocre panino

on the bread of our affliction




*Emeraude was launched in 1921. The nose behind this fragrance is Francois Coty. Top notes are orange, bergamot and lemon; middle notes are jasmine, ylang-ylang, rose and brazilian rosewood; base notes are amber, sandalwood, patchouli, opoponax, benzoin and vanilla.



Summer 2017  for Frances  Lechaim!


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