songanddancegirl

"It's about words, and words are all I have…"

Archive for the day “March 8, 2018”

GHOSTS

GHOSTS IN YOUR GARDEN

They say the ghost of Claude Monet haunted Joan Mitchell’s

Paris garden   Her paintings  abstractions of Giverny   Watery

purples + glistening pinks   Lover of Jean-Paul Riopelle   Hard

colours  +squares   And penile   They say in the notes to the show

(AGO to May 6)  that they met in Paris  fell in love  + enjoyed a

wild  social life    The subtext: wilder than yours

 

My own gardens have been haunted  mainly by Jewish poets  Your

ghosts find you   Monet far too angelic  +peaceful  for an angsty red

headed Jew with an un-wild social life for at least a decade   Oh  and 1

Jewish photographer  a suicide   Daughter of ritzy clothiers   Arbus

Angsty as they come   Then there is Mandelstam  persecuted  + gulaged

 

On Tuesday as I departed a Jewish retirement residence  a woman touched

my hand: Mumala do you speak Yiddish?  I understood:  Peace  God  Luck

But it was when she switched to English that a punch administered to gut   I

last saw my mother at 15   There was a knock at the door   I knew what was

coming   Your interlopers find you:  survivors   kidnapped +burned children

 

In the camp there was something  someone  always pushing at my back  Do

you know who?   I thought of everything in life   I was a business woman  But

I never thought of this    She gestured around the lobby   I stumbled out into the

frigid night  Leftover cheesecake bouncing against arthritic knee  Would I trade

my aging psyche  for a younger body?   MRI’s now writ large in my wild social life

 

While I would have said no  a mere week ago  the drill in my rotator cuff  is creating

nostalgia for my un-formed 20’s   The unlimited possibilities  +the ghost of Lennon

finding me   Years before survivors of wars + tortured children   Light of heart  Angst

free  (mostly)   Once  a wise + jovial aunt  who spent many years incapacitated  said:

We live our lives backward    This at a wine+cheese  on the eve of my 1st engagement

__

 

Life strikes a deal with the coming night….

2 Joan Mitchells

 

 

Spring  2018  ..

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