songanddancegirl

drop off the keys lee and set yourself free

there may be 50 ways to leave your lover

but there is only 1 way to leave your body

and it’s through  the soulhole

yesterday my mother met her maker-ess

Mrs. Death   mine lurks in the curtains  winking

+flashing

final third

final third

the renting of my mother’s flesh from me   devastation hi way

my el camino  where i’ll walk the stations until  feet+palms  bleed

she wasn’t just  the body  

as undertaker Mordecai

proclaimed

she was the sacred vessel   the temenos  where i wombed

swimming like a carp   in her milkydeeps   she was the crucible

of the vicissitudes

of the gutwrench

the beautiful

gifting this  ONE LIFE

where  one more once  

the pact of faust

hey Mephistopholes

a penny for your thoughts

my kingdom for your

flightpath

__

Fall 2022   …when u gunnin for me?..

the mother of all vigils

mother’s last pickpocket wore a black hood

he’d lived in the apartment unbeknownst for

eons  all succubus + dybuuk

mercy mercy me

the vigil lasted from August 10th covid riddled

until November 14th at 3 am  mother faltered

+succumbed

he was wily handsome  +Roger Mudd suave  as

we lay in various positions on her bed  mother’s

deaththroes  beautiful  +most treacherous

sores  +virus  encrust our mother’s lust for all things  life

today she joins her Maker  where am i going?  to meet my  

my     what’s his name??

the Maker of life  death  +dat udda place  where mother

will grace the halls  hollywood deathmask  firmly in place

but wait!  a tinkling of bells  a swish of wings  Mum?  Mum?

not a trace

__

November 2022      ..wait for me..

the motherload

but you know everything!  

this from my 98 yr old mother

she  robotically entrapped  +CNN’d

some obscure tidbit re Russian oligarchs

stumps poet  who is dissociate   +autopilot

later she says: i wish you were my doctor

hers  a somnambulant shrink  who thinks

asking:  how’s your sleep?   is a goddamn

cure  for death by waiting

it is  NOT

i am your doctor mummydearest  have been

since about 3  when on sturdy rubberbooted

legs  i walked into your tempests  +plucked you

with one eagleclaw   out of harm’s way    but i

cannot do it everyday  now can i?   poet seriously

dragging old assss  with hawks circling her  joie de vivre

__

..without magic, illness, knives, arrows, wars and death, life

would be just a matter of eating, drinking, sleeping and defecating;

life would be no good without death.. (Kasai of East Africa)

Fall  2022  ..smell that smell..

immortality what is it good for absolutely nothing

the unvarnished truth re: immortality   we invented it

out of fear   no one from the tribe wanted to be like

the inert guy  over there

they poked  +prodded  +bugs lauded

HELL NO  WE WONT GO!

fast forward to the 21st century  warehouse blues for

80 – 102    old dementing  many fomenting  chosen few

fermenting

sprouting shrouds none too soon

how do u like immortality now?

ask those in the waiting house   each+every one will tell u

doctors are ghouls  the script pad + jagged little pills  devil’s seeds

especially  the tinytiny one  they can barely see

openmouthed gaping   did it go down?

which 60 yr old will ever eat again

with  zest   gusto   aplomb?

hey  why not be brave  take away the immortality cocktails  give them

fine cognac fer chrissakes  turn waiting houses into palliative yurts! use

your imagination people   (how ’bout a few ladders!)

build places where

the boneold  can rest

before the final climb

we don’t need  your bingo  your dark sarcasm re: non weight bearing

showers   your other goulish devices   hey people  leave the almost

dead   to the task of  HOME

the eternal return

the anti-dote to your

filthy immortality

O Lord  i wanna be in that number!

__

Fall 2022  ..poet needs vacation..

when the machine breaks down

loss of bearings

unmoored

no signposts

or dropped breadcrumbs

no path back

there is no  back

back is gone

rearview smashed

enough hammering you with metaphors bleak+apocalypse?

if you are over 60  you know well these themes

if you are over 90  you just don’t know

where you are

where everyone went

when your name will be called

and you can leave the land of constant indignity

and land on the shores of success

__

..may you sail the seas of ambition

and land on the shores of succcess..

(entry in poet’s autograph book 1965 /Joseph Marlieb)  

Fall 2022  ..all sissies will be shot on sight..

get up off your knees momma

we fashioned the godstories out of our own

nailed to the crossness   who has not been

called upon to be the phoenix?   to rise up

from the ashes of destruction       again

like the god who ever dies  + is ever re-born

hey u  who only knows  the happiness  the plentiful  

the successness   go on  + cast the first stone

then go to your favourite resto  + pigout    preferably maskless

__

Fall 2022  ..don’t worry be happy..😷

my own private apocalypse

how does the unconscious know?

how does it eviscerate the scrim?

you know   that ultra thin veneer of:

hey everything’s okay  i’m gonna live

happilyeverafter  my rotting roof won’t   cave in

though my yellow mould covered house is palliative

even my tv shows have descended  from hi-art  into

sex+blood+drugs   the hyperstylization of bare ass

+goodhair  on a drool worthy fool

(but he went to Harvard ape!)

last night’s dream so real   the horror  oh the horror

minutiae of mephistopheles  the kind where u instantly know

you’re never going to unknow

apocalyptic bloodcurdle  renders Cormac’s  The Road  childsplay

no wonder u spent your waking dayafter in ruin  +almost

beat your covidridden mother to a fine pulp  queen of manip

brainfog  my asss

with my scrim in tatters  +husband #3 drinking beers in sweaty

manrooms  it is time to build alliances  with kindstrangers  people

who actually want to see me  +a MAID doctor or two

__

FALL 2020  ..jon bernthal is dead to me..

quantum teleportation is your friend

3 scientists of quantum physics have decoded  entanglement theory

for this they won the Nobel prize  ie., explaining the entanglement of

me  +my dead peops

this week  we had a major sighting of brother #1  dead 4 long yrs

2.5  pandemic ridden   there he was in a   FLASH💥  of light  beside

my GIANT  Frida Kahlo tome    his final home  Mexico!

i’d been ruminating on his chiseled face  in a photo  circa 1968

football eyes  squarejaw  +indomitable   until he wasn’t   at this

very moment  there was a   teleporting  happening across the way

at brother #2’s condo  where a heavy piece of art  began to sway

on its chain  repetitively   the universe yanking our chains?   or

should we be sharing the Nobel’s  $1.2 million prize?

for here was quantum teleporting  writ large   as my brother  + i

welcomed our bloodghost  with a frothy Ghost Rider toast  to a man

holy conundrum +imp   wandering star   still talking a mile a minute

__

Fall 2022  ..long may u ride Martino..

..and tommy doesn’t know what day it is..

my meditation guru always talks about  arriving here

in the body  in the moment  in this present world   NOT

head-up-ass   autopilot +robot

as a therapist to tortured children  i must ask u Jeff Guru:

don’t defences + dissociation serve an important purpose

for humans pushed beyond the limits of  trauma+suffering?

for the child to leave his invaded body  during the invasion

is a good thing  no?  clearly difficulty arises  when after wiring

this coping mechanism into the brain

u don’t feel much  anymore   if at all

EVER AGAIN

zombies walk the earth   so Jeff Guru  u do not contain  the

multitudes  now do u?   for the less life trampled  coming into

the lush moments of life more fully  is transcendent

the sights  smells  sounds  of my  ancient mother’s covid wasting  are not

say  YES   to your inner zombie

being more present   means being in trauma  being in beauty  being in

the horror   for the transcendent few

fully alive

ears pricked

heart open

wonder+gratitude  are the path out   *if the Minotaur doesn’t get u first

but oh the temptation of a shocking pink pair of shoes  the 10,000

things  pulling u back to   fight flight freeze   the high trapeze  of life

in the bigs

where all u really have to do  is breathe  +chew gum  at the same time

u can do it clothed apes   yes u can!

__

Fall 2022  ..pandemic ?  what pandemic ?

death to pigs

he lay pavement pressed into face  +stigmata   after a

short cop  with a mushroom-cut  +hitler youth swagger

bulldozed him to the ground

this in leafy downtown hipsterparadise   gentrification on

steroids  skunkpot wafting  scooters scurrying  sidewalkshit

from de rigueur purebreds   EVERYWHERE

another shortcop  this one a woman  assists in the degradation

of a clearly delusional (psychotic?) young jesus   long  jesus was

a jesus freak  hair   raising his hand à la moses  parting the red sea

(to mix abrahamic metaphors)

except he  was trying to cross the street  my now dead bubbie used

this technique  with my hand in her iron grip  when i was 3   earlier he’d

stopped a TTC trolley  +now the policemobile from hell

i thought they were given

sensitivity training

after killing Sammy Yatin

on Dundas St.  ??

now bruised+bleeding  our jesus lay  flayed +screaming  did u drug me?

did u drug me?   three of us stood  all impotent  + fashionista   police

threatening      if u don’t shut up we’ll arrest u too

18 yr old girl beside me  called one shortstubby  a bitch  while man

with fancydog  shouted  Toronto’s finest!    it all felt Nazi  + oh so

un-Canadian

except that Canada is now a haven  for white supremacy  with one

of the fastest rising records of hate crimes  against Jewry   in the world

yet  it was when our  foaming at the mouth  Aryan cop said:

women to the right

men to the left

I knew we weren’t in Kansas

__

..lest we forget  Canada turned away the  MS St. Louis  filled with

hundreds of Jewish refugees, sent back to die in various ovens..

Fall 2022  ..RISE..