songanddancegirl

doppelgänger blues

..there’s a shadow self that lives in

all of us..a doppelgänger of the soul..

Al Purdy declares a doppelgänger of the soul  !!

+ mine pricks up his ears   who is this other me?

a soul untethered to matter  don’t u have to die

for that kind of freedom?

maybe not  maybe all u have to do is cut cords  the

cords that hold u fast  the ones with your family  a

husband or 2   a friend or 3   +then what  Al Purdy?

u the great Canadian poet  living in poverty  much of

the time  with 2 GG’s  count em!  kind of like Bukowski

a  pockmarked  horny   postman poet

in Judaism every sabbath  u are given a 2nd soul  for 24 hrs.

+ u keep a box of rare herbs  to sniff as a reminder  that once

u lit up the sky  + a guy in a bmw concurred  yer gorgeous!     he screamed

circa 1983

now your soul’s doppelgänger   has your real soul  by the balls

tourniquet tightening  all greyhaired+bovine u lay   hey  Al Purdy

your assisted death troubles me

they say when u save a suicide

they ride  like a monkey

on your back

and yes  that is trueblue

can i get

a witness

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Spring 2021 in 15 days   ..year two..batvirus🦇🦇

the shining©️

in this dream 2 sisters named Von Niebelschitz         (seriously)

guide you toward nirvana   except they are extremely

out of breath  going up the 67 steps  in your new townhouse

it faintly resembles  the Overlook Hotel    any minute

Jack the dullboy  will jump out

HERE’S JOHNNY!      he will shout

the Von Niebels twitter nervously  faintly resembling the

twin girls  all bugeyed+deflowered  from The Shining©️

but  in the basement you later find  a vontrap  door!   it

leads to the red carpet you will walk   into the final act

this interlude will hold some of your finest years  the years of

wine+roses  +non-weight bearing bathing  but  before any of

that occurs  you will waltz through sepia ballrooms  to the sea

energy can be transformed  but never destroyed

this the 2nd law of thermodynamics  so fuck McFate

the 3rd law  + you heard it here:  only the present exists©️

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the couple in their new townhouse

Almost Spring 2021  ..the tide is turning..

what would bobby mcgee do? (WWBMD)

i floated in some dark limbo of the mind,

shrunken and foetal, withdrawn into the

basic spore of myself.                       (Al Purdy)

then the door

the clankedshut  door

clanked open

real creaky+a bit creepy   too

i always wondered what i would do if the

cage door fell away   u too?  so what will

u do with your lastchance at resurrection?

what did jesus do? (WDJD)  he returned +

became a rabbit induced holiday  upon which

i was born

WAIT!

is that freakin Nova Scotia?!  i see a schooner

+a sailor  my life passes before me in a fugue

of whales  chowders  +seafaring men  some are

quite muscled

have i died +gone to heaven?  or is this a mirage?

u know  like when yer parched  +dying in the desert

what’s the difference?  as poor tom petty intoned

on his deathcouch  stoned+alone

my friend paolo assures me that they have jews +

homosexuals there   a deal sealer for me  and the

door she’s been open now for 2 mins 36 secs  i have

not moved  have u?

but hey

if +when  your mouth feels gritty

that’s my

dust

__

Winter 2021   freedom seeking is not for sissies wimpies

jesus was a jesusfreak

my 1st husband had a styptic pencil  +phylacteries

my 2nd a jagged cross made from nails  +red in his

viking beard   #1 a jew  #2 a jubu  his father George

considered him buddhist  i see thru the Jesus to his

inner ju  jew

the bu refers to his spaced-out hippie aspect  perfect for

the apocalypse we are finding   as in:  Covid who?

good with a quip  +circumcised  (tmi?!)  but what i realize

more+more with age  is that: #1 + #2  are a continuation

a christly bromance  of ape

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Winter 2021

i have max baer’s thighs

and this is my max baer moment  yours too  if you u want it

aren’t we all max right now?  fighting that schmeling of a virus          (clunk?)

baer is rated #22 on the list of: 100 greatest punchers of all time

i aspire to that list  as i list about in these ronatimes  like a drunken

sailor  popeye needs rehab  +my old coviddodger mum  happens to

have popeye elbow  but not a full beard

she who is finding it difficult to give up    on being alive   my mother

__

winter from hell   2021

the real deal

wrote my fave satirist  George W. Saunders  of

Booker prize fame  and he wrote back!  husband

concerned his trippy wisdom would steal my heart

but my heart is firmly with le bron  +i have clearance

George remains my muse  along with Cormac  in his

response to my worshipful missive  George intoned:

what is apparently real + what is real are not necessarily the same

TRIPPY!

( don’t forget he’s a satirist  right!)

So here is my list of what is apparently real:

birth

death

love

time

space

God

neurons

atoms

husband

+what is real real:

dinosaurs

taxes

basketball

fidelity is  apparently real

ok gotta go!

zoom date with Trae Young

in five

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Winter 2021

my brother wrote the killer line in this poem*

i was never free  not for one second   well maybe

writing a poem at Bacchanal in Nola  husband+a bro

drinking ghostriders  then later showing Monk Boudreaux

my pocket pig🐷

did u know pigs represent fecundity  big time?   piggy

banks   just a bastardization  of the fecund goddess

pennies from heaven?   or worshipping mammon?

*(here comes that killer line)

but  if i cover my eyes  can u still see me?   can u see me

cutting the last cord  that keeps me in captivity  umbilical

first cut   then quickly fused to matter   final cut will be a

fucking rodeo

with Mark  the Rifleman’s son presiding   + Rabbi Monson too

he who said: every year after 70 is a miracle!   and also

during my Jewish divorce:

if he wants to remarry   he pays half   no free rides  

but Rabbi   i cracked him open!   Monson grabbed my collar hard

 if you give it for free  you slave in a kitchen  

husband in question has yet to claim his ghett

so should i charge him?  or ice him?   if i cover my eyes  maybe you won’t

see me collecting   the schvartzgelt   this poem is not PC

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Winter 2021

*JMA married in the same basement room of my ghett should begin his memoir posthaste

i’m a man of wealth+taste

he had yellow hair  +a wicked combover  a swiss cheese-ey elvis

face strangely pitted  bloated  bugeyed  the wife a mail order bride

with fangs    they’re gone now  crawled back under the rock from

whence they came

but america will never be the same   74+ million  deplorables  some

with long guns +horns  crawled out too   grunting   now forcibly

separated from his de base   by the stolen election   he weeps   as

Mel tells her pallid son:  be best  and go back to your room

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Winter 2021  ..it’s lonely at the bottom..

the covidvaccine+the doctor from mars

my unique identifier was  KMA  !  at the covid vaccine clinic

where i scurried just yesterday  every aspect was a test  test

your mettle  your herdishness  your commitment to not dying

dr. vanderbeeek was cheeky  rubbed my deltoid hard  so hard

that i went into ecstatic confessions  re: David Bowie on my tee

at one point v.beeeks hand slipped from the ubermassage   to

david’s face atop my left boob  (ew)  +our eyes met over germy

masks   later when i told a brother  he wondered if i’d gone crazy

likely the manic-y  delivery

OMG!  HE MASSAGED MY SKINTAG   AND THEN HE..

later when i returned home to husband  afibrulate +supine  with one eye

on the tv  he twitched spasmodically  to my tale of v.beeek’s slimfingers

+ tenderness       (*mums the word on his 10 calls to my cell today)

so  who among u would be surprised at this juncture  to see spaceships

descending   or horny doctors with crepey handskin     stroking??

__

Winter 2021   ..would it kill u to put on a little Nivea?..

cowgirlblues

i asked father who his favourite cowboy was   (he was mine)

he said  Tom Mix   back in those days  i loved cowboys with a

passion too big for a small girl  but i did   Mark the rifleman’s

son visited my room of an evening   +when father took me to

meet him at maple leaf gardens  i swooned  +swanned around

like ginalolofuckingbrigida

__

Tom Mix and his horse rode the shadow range, punishing evil-doers. 

But Tom never kissed the heroine. He seemed very much in love with

his horse.  (Al Purdy  1993)

Winter  2021

..daddy was way better looking than tom..

+would have highly approved of gina..