songanddancegirl

mexico goddamn !

when my big bro had not even 2 yrs to live  he moved

to Mexico  he did not slink away either  hell no  he rented

a huge loft above a furniture store on mainstreet run by a

guy named  Val     (he’s a prick ape)   

on a good day:  he hunts bears! he’s my bff   but really my bro

went to Mexico  to have lunch  and that he did with  zenmind

+aplomb  free at last from   mammon-o-mania   a devastating

soul carcinoma

here i stand at the corner of Southpark+Sackville  in a town

i can see myself living in  holding onto a steelepole  for dear life

if i let go  will sailors everywhere rejoice?  whales  salt  moors

hey  they even have anchors for the unmoored !

when did i grow so fearful ?  clutching the dashboard as my

3rd husband  Calum Andretti  drives evilkenevil +nailbite  thru

hairpinturns  toward our  so called future

in my mind i’m going to Halifax  i’m prying my fingers off of the

steelepole  can’t u just see the wind  lifting me up up up  apesiepoppins

now  FEARLESS   +ready for Moby

__

Fall 2021  ..there is nothing to fear but fear itself..(FDR 1933)

the boys of halifax

pressed up against  but at least not  press-ganged

that sounds intense  tragic  18-55 yr. olds kidnapped

for the king  having a beer  then to disappear  for 5 years !

the sailors of Halifax are:

young

lean

meanmachines

they wink at every corner  & beckon a girl into dank rooms

stonethick   amber beers   sly sidling up

with any luck  the lugubrious one  all doe eyes  lingering & wet

will crook his elongated forefinger

& take me home

to his bearded mama

__

Fall  2021  ..save me from overwrought Haligonian chowders..

put a tiger in yer tank

the nova scotia tea ceremony  where countless sailors

spurned in your dreams  sit zazen  +encourage u to cut

ties with ancient aficionados

the ones who left u unprepared for the mind/body

tarantella  mind trapped in body  body trapped in mind

The Fall was not fortunate at all

under the fig leaves  residual animal echoes   u leap over

tall buildings to find the savanahland crux  (cruchs in yiddish)

u are NOT a man  u are a manimal   🐯🐯

u shit 20 feet from where u sleep

except there are tiles

__

FALL  2021

..the more i see of some people the better i like my dog..

(Lee Atkins Purdon Dr. circa 1965)

how can u have any pudding if u don’t eat your meat

in lars von trier’s Melancholia  a giant meteor is

catapult + aimed at Earth   the depressed people

+ the children remain  unfazed

everyone else is in a bunker  hunkered   a bit like

our covidlives  no?   except that our depressives

are in the bunker too    weepcheering for doom

+ the children  all unvaccinated  look around

in wait   while the reaper  counts virginhairs   he

glares   +sniffs at their puddings too

__

Fall 2021 ..oh the filthy herd..🐂🐂🐂

A MAN

the dudes u misuse on your way up

u may meet ’em on your way down

this is usually true  except when the u

makes so much money for the people he

misuses  they cling like willnots  especially

on his way down

when he still made a few turds rich   (poetbitter enough?)

though cancered+neobladderman  he switched

his worship of mammon  to the dirt hills behind

the house in Mexico

in a town with a name that rhymes with  ihadthelastlaugh

he with his moviestar smile  brought grown men

to cast aspersions like:  i could melt him   !

things u would say only in reference to lex luthor

__

Fall 2021  ..missing M.A. + Charlie.. RIP..

boobie prizes+learning to crawl

who knows the reasons behind the haphazard

distribution of ruin?   phoenix anyone?   that giant

raptor rising  or a flattened bellycrawler?  no judgement

here either

perfection of bellycrawl  newest sport Paris Olympics   2024

learn how to crawl before 65  +the bubbie boobie prize awaits

funny u probably thought boobie prizes were for fools+gamblers

desitively so  ditto heroes of all stripes  who are willing to forgo

the spotlight   fame   fortune   a megawatted botoxic smile   all

duckmouth +pouty     (sound like a cousin u know?)

my boobie prize is a crazy kind of: warped-elation   amidst the

dung of this covid-abyss   where i am busy being charming   +

ordering fancy shape wear   for the day the double-vaxxed

inherit de earth

_

Summer 2021  ..if u wanna kiss the sky better learn how to kneel.. Auchtung Baby..

silverape+moses

my hair appears to have grown back  all of a sudden

from under the silver  emerges the red chin length  frizzcurl

but something is amiss  afoot   u get the picture?

it feels like an addams family wig   all mortician  +sallow

yid wisdom says: what was  was   but for a moment i am

elated   it’s back!   then i realize that to be her again  i

would have to forgo all of my pandemic suffering  (darn)

which led me to my oh so moses silver in the first place

transformation through intense  headfuck  like that guy

in high school who did too much acid

moses went up the mountain brunette  (ditto this ape)

and came down silver   but he saw GOD !  not a ball covered

in thorns   lung laceration in waiting 🔅

we can never know what transpired between mo+his daemon

but wait !  this is a metaphor for chrissakes  one where every

signpost is down  +the journey kicks the bejeezus out of you

now silvered +carcass  you realize that death is NOT an FFT

(fucking first time experience)  and this brings a kind of peace

where do you really think you were pre-birth canal ripping+tearing?

i see you’re stumped

you who were built for uncertainty  now lulled into jello  by the

10,000 distractions  maybe you gotta learn to die  over+over again

in order to learn

how to live

__

Can the Summer of 21  be OVER please?

to sleep perchance to dream – ay there’s the rub

is the definition of insanity:

doing the same thing twice

and expecting a different  outcome?

not by a long shot folks

the real definition of insanity:

smoothing out your pillow for the 

1,364th time   whilst flipping like a

dying fucking tuna  +expecting   to fall asleep

__

Zombie Summer 2021   ..fuck ambient music..

(so much better to ceaselessly scan the environment for threat)

the 10,000 things blues

u know you’re in trouble when the 10,000 things

no longer distract u   mind u  in covid-surreality

there are only 3 or 4 things

grocery store

drug store

sometimes a patio filled with performative hipsters

long q-tips into soulholes

reptilian brains in overdrive  mass death tends to enhance

anxiety in bipeds with big heads  u naked apes  who know

uncertainty so well

u practice from the moment of exploding embryonic-fluids

u arrive in a strangeland  where the only constant  is change

(+morph-fuckery)

cocoons are for bellyslitherers+pantsshitters   but not u

u who will yourself to courage  rise above the 10,000 fears

being afraid is the healthiest catalyst to  THE BIG MORPH

the one where u get handfuls of MORE   so be afraid  +do it

anyway  that thing the nightweasels  (the cowardly fucks)

are trying to prevent

they who thrive on shit scared   tonight sucker punch the beasts

+watch your lined face transform  into the new-form   waiting to

launch u

huddle in fear behind the couch  or collaborate with Mrs. Reaper

before your crêpey arms grow a few more skin tags

__

Summer 2021   ..endure dammit  endure..

(God forbid u should have some fun  ..Maimonides 1204 AD)

*this poem is not about woody allen’s mother

the purgatorio of dante   hellfire pecking

this purgatory  forest fires blazing  hearts inflamed

lungscorch too

so who’s

to blame

me?

u?

or  sparks from a fast moving train  ?

this yarn is not about climate change

it’s about    the inbetween

the place between  knowing   being lost

being found  +profoundly following your

dyingheartflame

not the thickheaded  monsterbrain

who says:  take the road u know          ad nauseam

don’t go out in the snow

don’t go out if it’s hot

DON’T GO OUT EVER         EVVVVVVER  

did i mention EVER?

wait!  this is not your brain’s voice   it’s that giant

disembodied motherhead  floating over bathurst st.

my kids love me so much  they pay a shrink  + talk

about me!   

me    

me 

___

Summer 2021  …oh the motherlode…