ok
so
hope
doesn’t
float
but
it
almost
did
now kobe
lives
in
mamba
heaven
and 210
are
dead
from a
snakeinduced
flu
is this
biblical
enough
for you?
will the last
man
standing
be le bron?
with his
freshly minted
black mamba tatt
left foreleg
they shoot horses don’t they?
as humanity wages
war against itself
we are our own
autoimmune disease
+ everywhere
snakes
are
laughing
__
Winter 2020 ..RIP Black Mamba +hope ?..
Carl Jung said the dead are gathered at the
top of the world waiting for us +when we arrive
we impart what dribs of wise we have accumulated
so try not to talk incessantly about people God
doesn’t know
ie., 27 minute diatribes about so + so’s
boat
his moated villa
his dead whore
no! talk instead about those things you know
to be true +if you do not know truths then listen
ie., shutthefuckup
my father not a swiss psychiatrist but a renowned
horsewhisperer a man who did not make a beggar
of himself as a venal cousin has suggested his favourite
word was silence his favourite sounds were:
one hand clapping
trees falling in the forest
horse
dog
bird
word
__
Winter 2020
this poem not sure what it wants to be
sitting quietly flummoxed by opaque
dreamscape scraping scraps from
begging bowl *a pot induced lack of soul
(*SOMA by any other name)
evil pot doc – the main side effect is psychic constipation
near dead poet – sign me up!
but i am making a comeback through
the mundane chopping wood watching
screens calls to BELL TDCANADATRUST
ROGERS NIRVANA ROOFERS R’US have
ground a once proud flowerchild to dust
but don’t cry for me argentina i commit the
pact of faust daily with an e.coliridden samsung
capturing + nailing light to my wall little immortalities
+please do excuse me while i fuck the sky
oy
__
Winter 2020
*Soma – the happiness pill of the brave new world..
“Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the
overcompensations for misery. And being contented has none of the
glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness
of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt.
Happiness is never grand.” (
is writing about dead relatives overrated? your
readers satiated? yet what did you have to say
prior to diagnosisday? (august 2016) words limping
out of the past obsessional knots built to last
money
family
marriage
jews
therapy
heresy
money
nihilistic ballistic missiles aimed at life leading to no
small amount of strife for readers who clamoured for
sunshine +daffodils in deep darkness denial but lately hope !!
which not only floats but creeps slantwise in
now your dead bro visits you touched your arm yesterday
at dawn and there he sits in the darkened living room too
and when you swallow your pot oil at night finger slippage
leads to him flying around the room
but you’ve come to see that he rose up out of a florida
crematoria brandfucking new {so why can’t you}
crematoria notwithstanding
__
..but now and again on more occasions than I can number,
in bed at night, or in the street, or as I come into a room, there
she is ; beautiful, emphatic ; closer than any of the living are..
(Virginia Woolf Moments of Being 1976)
..13 at the death of her mother ..writing 45 years later..
just before her own suicide..)
Winter 2020 ..same shit a different day + the pope he’s still in rome..
i know my the death throes +you would be
surprised unless your person explodes right
before your eyes happened only once +not
pretty
at st. joes to a young cousin nurses couldn’t
find the plug for oxygen mask i crawled under
the bed +heard the sound of breathing again briefly
but generally in addition to flailing arms a party
is planned somewhere around the 2 wks to go
mark even introverts plan parties take daddy who
badly needed reefer to socialize (apple did not fall far)
he planned a party in such detail that sonny langer
our caterer hired him for special events now lillian
lays dying in a cold province +she is planning a party
with wild rice +gravy arms gesticulating
101 in 5 wks about to jump a train for the prairie farm
where she was born february 1919 dirt floor -46
and that’s without the wind chill
__
first days 2020
*the killing of Soleimani is an outrageous
act committed by an amoral president..
Globe+Mail January 7/2020
does hope float?
yes no
if u voted for sunshine +daffs
in 2019 u may be in luck
but sunk in rigormaudlin
i will never be
does hope float? hope so
__
(..but don’t ask drew brees voodooed so badly
+butter fingered from tonguelick he floats
away..)
first days 2020
a grand solitary
often confused
with misanthropy
but don’t mind
humankind
just find
the blahblah
draining
father preferred
dogs + whorses
2020 the year of
hiding
in plainsite
all zombified
+deepstate
bring it
__
ere of
2020
our mother cannot die in the same bed
as him mattress burned beyond recognition
in a bonfire along with family money condo
remade by rabbis daughter with bucks to spare
didn’t care for our bourgeoisied palette no!
+daddy’s ghost sniffing a ponderous +schmaltzy
woman fled now dead for 30 the bed where
mother will die lies on bathurst st.
where jews drive like shit +little fielding melishes
dribble balls +dart into traffic their own mothers
brisketladen +farbissen many with 10 kids as the
husbands twirl tallis strings always smiling
__
..above the drawing room on the first floor , was the
bedroom, which was the birth centre; the death centre
of the house. Both her mother and father died there..
(Hermione Lee Virginia Woolf 1997)
Hanukkah 2019 🕎
life on the ravine not all it was cracked
up to be an idyll with red sunsets off of
western
facing
balcony
in a house where the family harboured
bankrobbers + whores +gamblers
down the road the forest turned blue +
there lived my one truefriend on a dead end
it was daddy who said she was a lesbian
ronnie shimmelstien studied ballet +later pre-
raphaelite painting we met in paris briefly 1983
she told me sitting splayed on my bed that:
while in law school at berkley
she
went
through
a windshield
her father flew her to boston her face now a
replica with small incisions displayed mapping
her pain +self loathing (my mother never loved me)
in her canopied room shimmelstien had a collection
of dolls 116 to be exact beady eyes followed me as i
gorged on white pistachios ($$$)
it was in ’73 that her bubbie was found in the ravine
clutching multiple dolls +screaming or was that my
cousin?
our childhood manor full of savants
+vaunted
sales giants
heroes unt saints
__
Winter 2019/2020
songanddancegirl... at 4
songanddancegirl 