songanddancegirl

back away from me slowly

when was it that i came to care about

chipped china

sailors

a shantytown

in which to die

now feral+zara  i wait for the 7th wave (?)

the pestilence hiding in plainsight  to bite

the lard asses of  the 2 Neanderthals  i

encountered yesterday

all   toxic masculine

on the outside

and rotting pussy

on the inside

their repartee: (to masked poet on the TTC)

don’t worry he won’t give u covid!

did u hear the one about the woman they tested

they found out she’s pregnant  and u know where

they had to stick it !!

enduring this after a 2hr pulmonary extravaganza

in an enclosed booth  with a millennial respirologist

who i had to drop kick in the cunt

OK  i’ve been degraded  humiliated  +isolated

i have clearance to use the C word people !

__

Summer 2022  ..now go play in traffic..

a virus of wealth+fame🦇

a nola munchkin squeaked her way through a 50 minute

set  in a 4 hour show  omfg  it was interminable +cringe

around me were a few thousand  unmasked denizens

flirting with the spiked one🔅

the spiked prince  u know him?  please allow me to introduce

myself  i’m a virus of bat  +fame   i killed the tzar  lemmings

willynilly  +still hide in their beds

so after 4 hrs of non-cavorting  in a 5 layer mask  my old bro

driving like Steve McQueen +coughing like a geezer   i arrived

home   spent+flaccid

only to find husband #3  had clearly been  with his bovinemistress

bitondogirl   named for the pizza shop  she squats above  i always

know when he’s been with her

his beard  all flour+shrimp🦐

__

Summer 2022  ..bitondogirl’s brisket..a thing of beauty..not to mention her….

dr. frankenstein i presume?

there will be warehouses for everyone   over 80

where u will be kept alive  all frankenstein+dulleyed

pill dispensers will dispense  pill dispensers  the new

power mongrels

pills pink yellow blue  some cut in 2   what if we

treated death  like the final exalted act  it clearly is

perhaps the pill dispensers have disabled our soulholes?

or the hefty books of religion have numbed us to a pulpy

mess?    be bold    +cut the backs of every blisterpack

fill the graves with candycoloured opiates

the dead don’t need them

they’ve escaped !  up there somewheres  smoking

drinking  fucking  +cavorting with communists   but

mostly laughing   at us

we who write  Do Not Resuscitate  on their files  force

feed the feeble  bloodthinners  rhythmadjusters  +filthy

diuretics

causing urine

to flow freely

in hallways

where angels

fear to tread

__

..that was the end..everybody walked away from our

species’ least favourite activity – and he was left behind..

..they had found their rhythm ..an archaic ritual ..like old

fashioned workmen feeding a furnace with fuel.. stop 

burying my father’s face! ..but they couldn’t stop and

they wouldn’t stop..

(Philip Roth  Everyman  2006  *read at yer own risk) 

Summer 2022     ..summer of ghouls..

slackjaw+survivor

i don’t know about u  but the longterm care home

i visit  is bleak  33 yrs ago  i regularly jousted  with

my dying father’s ginger doctor  who speaks in rabbi

cadence

about the 30+ pills  father was on  to keep him alive:

Aprill  i want him to die  in perfect condition.. and

when can we meet for a drink?

OMFG😱

at what point does the dance macabre  become the

new normal?  housing life’s vets in residences   full +

urinesoaked

cloaked in language  goldenyear+obfuscation:  here

we have the non-weightbearing shower  this as my

old brother and i  crept away

then there was the time we were escorted into a room

with fresh catshit on the floor  room rankstank   + a man

who frequented the Yorkville folk scene  wandered the

halls  in a  Peter Paul +Mary  onesie

with any luck in 20 yrs  i will be on the underside  of the

grass  or better still  on the otherside of the world  on a

hog    oink oink    i can barely drive a car

__

Spring 2022

(did not fade away…or die.. before they got old..)

if you think i’m crazy you should meet my sister

what ever happened to baby Jane?  sitting in my finery

in the park   in deep thought  go ahead  take a shot

which one is  she   Baby Jane or sister Blanche?

she  likes the company of gentlemen  beautiful+succubus

goddess of homefires  +the mystery   the mystery that is

Shomedy   a haven for druggies

+middle class families  in the 50’s  drugs of choice  valley

of the dolls  redux   xanax valium  +benzo   all chanel+kenzo

my aunt lived there   gave me my first Barbie

a deadringer for her   except for the lonnnng legs+tinywaist

no  not those  it was the redmouthed longing  to not be plastic

to not be bound  in a striped maillot for eternity

these reminded me   of Shirley

(whose husband invented the bikini..)

but auntie  is not the goddess to whom i refer

go ahead   infer

so  which one is  she   Baby Jane or Blanche?

What’s the difference?  as Tom Petty quipped

pre kissing the sky

__

Spring 2022

the oracle of ape

i have grown fond of telling people they will die

at 8 yrs. Jacques Cousteau Peckãr  oracled my death

as well as the deaths of everyone i knew  +would know

the Oracle of Jacques:

(while pointing at my little bros+i 😱

in a Montreal singsong)

..you’re gonna die

and you’re gonna die

and you’re gonna die

we’re all gonna die

there were repercussions   oh yes there were

a lifetime of Schopenhauerian dementing  +

hollow eyes   (friends were few)

at Delphi  the Oracle was said to be stoned on

gasses  emanating from the bowels of inner earth

while i

have just

been stoned

deaf to protestations  + all prostrations  of the simple

kindly folk   who remonstrate +joke  oh ape lighten up

to them i say:   a monkeypox on u all

__

..concerned that i will forget who the enemy is

..concerned that there will be nothing to drink in hell

..concerned about dying but not about death

..i am exactly what i am supposed to be

(Charles Bukowski  The Damnation of Buk 1992)

(dead..)

Spring 2022 ..live dammit! live! ..

something is stinkfoot

is meditation practising for death?  if yes

where do u go in those transcendent seconds?

u know  when the pause button is hit  on the

spacetimecontinuum

(there’s a mouthful)

but seriously  those seconds spent suspended  +drool

present but absent   absent-trajectory  dark side of the moon?

Oz?  where yet another snakeoil saviour awaits the escaping

Dorothys

a technicolour place  where 18 yr. olds  kill  6 yr. olds  for kicks

no wait  that’s here  so where is there?  overtherainbow nirvanablues

for yous little manimals    preening+licking   freshly vaxxed wounds

this morning i woke up

but the bed was EMPTY

has that ever happened to u?

__

Spring 2022  ..time to rise the fuckup America..

daddybird’sbird’s blues

it is his birthday today  when i saw him in the ICU

post heartthrob  +iced  my father on ice!  i learned

everything there was to know about life after bypass

+ventricle slash

i grew old that day

but hey  there is so much more to him than that

(say Aprill !! don’t leave the house for a week)

big muscles

chiselled cheekbones

pigskin

big dogs

wild horses couldn’t drag me away  the last day  his birds

came  to carry him home  Lee swinging low  white horses

+chariot   the whole nine yards

__

Spring 2022   RIP LEE .. (May 21, 1921 – August 16, 1989)🏈

a girl can dream

i often wonder if my various mancrushes would

have liked me enough  to marry me   Al Purdy

Lebron  Steve Earle  (husband says he stinks

especially his beard)

Jack White (same husband says he’s too small

town for me!)  this husband: wildman  +lumberjack

family 1/2 Manitoba Metis  1/2 Scottish highlands

ENOUGH SAID

as a girl i mooned over Moondoggie + Mark the Rifleman’s

son  who my father took me to see circa 1963  father a

Paul Newman doppelgänger: wild  untameable  +jazz

who would want to tame the beast ??

well i guess a woman with 4 of his kids  who is equally

feral  (+Chanel)  i never did wonder if Zimmy would like me

he of the too rhymey poetry +the Nobel!  anyway  he looks

too much like the Rabbi of Gdansk   my anscestral town

Al Purdy on the other hand  BIG 200+lbs   prone to ecstasy

also infidelity  cheated on his wife with her bestie  married her

had a son  then returned to long-suffering wifey

Al Purdy  all cad+rugged   fuck u   Mr. Rough Hewn

__

..you feel this something surging inside you..this dragon..this incubus..  

(Al Purdy 1993)

Spring  2022   ..changing teams..just watch me..

Maharishi Madness

my swami is a middle-aged Jew  from the burbs

named Jeff  he is the best  bar none  no Ram Dass

no Maharishi

no  Jeff is local  homegrown+vildachya: yiddish for

a wild+crazyguy  he has many forms of mental health

issues    substance abuse too

Jeff fell from a tree at 23  broke-necked +resurrect

fastforward to a billionaire Calm-ish exec  with serious

nirvanablues

Jeff is saving my soulhole from extinction  in these

covidtimes  soul-shred is on the rise  scurrying humans

with toiletpaper madness   make u want to puke

leaves one feeling a touch misanthrope   no?

on a micro-level  entering the final 3rd  suffering a

brother’s suffering   2yr cancer extravaganza   he

wasn’t heavy    except in the final moments

when nurse looked across the bed at me  and said: close

your eyes  just then the sheet on my side  ripped apart  in

the midst of lifting him    a deathbed meditation

now it’s time to  Rise The Fuck Up!  walk smartly into the

final 3rd  with panache  aplomb  +a well placed team of

psychiatrists

who will have compassion for me  when i cannot

__

Spring 2022  ..Happy Birthday Martino!  May 19, 1946  ..76