songanddancegirl

happiness is a ladies gun mama

i was given a gift for my 65th  a purse

all skeletal +hidden gun compartment

a brother drove deep into Texas  to

bring it home

he stopped in Marfa  +fell in love  we

haven’t seen him in a dog’s-age   she’s

the sheriff   former stripper  loves her mama

(crazy ’bout elvis)

the purse he shipped came with a ladies

Colt 45  a dangerous gift for me  all covidragey

tensions building  daily

yesterday my too chatty coffeeshop man asked:

are u always grumpy?

YES

i can tell by your eyes

and he’s never seen my eyes!  cloaked

+Steve McQueen   most days

KAPOW!  coffeeman

KAPOW!  singing crossing guard lady

stand too close to me   c’mon   in childhood

father called me  Annie Oakley  he too had

angercoursing

__

..life will kill ya..then yer dead..

(Warren Zevon)

Spring 2022 ..one more sleep to CPP..

glasnot

watching a play about the Russian revolution

in a 5 layer non-woven   black iron mask

hyperventilation   +saliva-death

mouth gobidesert-esq   not pretty   a woman

in the next seat  having a medical event  dinner

first     1 decrepit family     over there

looked very Russian prole   life imitates  art

that cannot match the deathknell  for oldendays

goldendays?

before all of the 10,000 things were lined up

in front of proteinspikes  in the billions  good-bye

old life    🔅🔅🔅

hello  pretending to enjoy all of the pleasureless

pleasures  remember when we sat so close together

b.o. might catalyze the gag reflex?

goldendays

once at a Lou Reed concert  (all old jew +shuffleboard)

a man in front of us stank so bad   my nose

remains wary

__

Spring 2022 ..with millions of vaccines soon to expire

scale of loss is shrouded in secrecy..

(Toronto Star April 17/22)

they who taught me to wordle

Jason & Kelly  my bro and sister

are riddled

+covid

too many discos

and rub n’ tugs

(gotcha!)

no  just minding their own business

perhaps one in-door unmasked dinner

too many?

no   truth is we are all about to dance with

the coviddevil   unseemly +mucous   yes

you + me

so how do we  move forward?  masked  +spittleweary

marching to a different future  the one we  never

imagined   in wildwet dreams

hands up if u think  had u known this was coming

u would have smoked one more cig?   run off with

chauncey the gardener?

i mean would it have killed u to throw caution to

the wind?  this won’t kill u either  now that there

is more Pfizer in your veins   than life itself

__

Spring 2022 ..let my people go..

blacksonavitch blues

he was black

with a jew fro

he was the black dog

of jews  in the ghetto

someone told me recently

you can’t use that word   all pc  +idiocy

just watch me

a friend’s parents fought Germans at Warsaw

another’s screamed in the suburban night  nightly

and i can’t say  ghetto!

back to blacksonavitch  regal  27 inches at the withers

black eyes + pawnails   not standard issue   he was

hybrid

humanpoodle  rode a toboggan   hide+seek  a fave

except we always knew where to find him  same closet

where love letters hidden  +found

blacksonavitch  why is she having an affair with our

greasy elvis doctor?  blankstare  +sphinx  tiny smile

c’mon child  you’ve seen enough for one day  lets play!

the game:  here lies blacksonovitch  covered in small bro’s

vomitous blanket   he was a fine man   the real dogfuneral

10 yrs later

the stain of his body burned into cork floor   dogtattoo

he visits still   cut to scene in heaven  blacksonovitch  (verst in yiddish)

+ father   driving around in a green impala  circa 1972

__

Spring 2022

..in the summer of 1942.. 300,000 Jews deported

from Warsaw to Treblinka.. on April 19/43  the

Ghetto uprising began..it ended May 16/43

56,000 Jews captured

7,000 shot

remainder to death camps

great escape my asssss!

i tried

i really did

went oceanscape  +shitscared?

not really  i just left it  too late

to leave my

doctor

dentist

+undertaker (a ghoulish phoney)

the sailors teared up when i left

and the whales sound out my name

to this day

they  my new family  giantmammalian  +reeking

blubbery mobys  farewell !

recently my boisterous doc  snide (but not whiplash)

said:  there are a lot worse tests than the one i have

ordered  for u

i’ve had a few

my bros too

one  took too many benzos  pre-insertion

and bludgeoned the too happy crossing guard

at Queen+Shaw  to death

(somewhat thankfully)

__

O the mammalian ludicrosities!

William Faulkner  As I Lay Dying 1930

Spring 2022  ..finally over Mick..

Age-itator? Age-itraitor?

NO  i do not have a problem with  AGING

fer chrissakes  it’s just a passage of time thing   people!

always leaning melancholic  introvert+limpid  in a

world where:  SILENCE is golden  dead

along with:

God

the supply chain

+parts of Ukraine

did i ask to know  that each decade’s passing  nails u

to the cross-road   time takes a cigarette   time takes

a lifetime    time the consummate taker

takes ferociously

as i ruminate  people around me say: you have a problem

with AGING !  protesting too much against my cassandramouth

potty-confessions

professions of poignancy

TIME is grief   i am here  in this veinybody  spent  spatout

still ticking    +almost prancing  with the  dark prince 👠👠👠

DYING IS NOT FOR SISSIES !

u heard it here

____

Spring 2022  ..soon they will pay me to be alive..😱OAP+CPP KMA

my final narcissist

(*be the fucking candle)

is this like the last temptation of Christ?  sort of

yes  narcissists are  so tempting  larger than life

drama kings+queens of  ME ME ME

okay  let’s both share a memory   ME FIRST !

(39 minutes later)   GOTTA GO !!

this morning i find myself dancing with one   ghostdisco heaven

we had us some fun   price too high though

as in:  no real reciprocation of martyrdom

(going to the wall  alone  gets tired)

lovely

beautiful

charming

funnnny

vs. me:  my holes are empty  chomp chomp

but i loved them all  quite passionately  a larger

than life bro   hey i know what you should

write about!       ME 

(u cannot imagine the beautiful)

here i sit with my final narcissist  still

not sure  if i am recognized as  separate

so deep the   partiçipation mystique

mirror mirror on her wall  2 images!  mine wilting

 you really need to gain some weight   you’re

disappearing   (into me)    girl

__

Spring  2022  ..get off of my cloud..

middleclass repo

the girls of the manor  were not manorborn

but highly aspirational  homes schlocky+borcsht

minuscule chandelier hell

mothers in skintight froufrou kitten-heeled hos

serving dainties  rude gossip  but not us   NO!

we were middleclass repo

always intense  slimtrim goddessy mother  linebacker father

in cashmeretweed  corduroy fedora   but mostly

windshell  +Landry

horses football dogs bros  the fatted fillies in frills

gnarly with envy  trust me   if you’re smart  bookish

coltish  +sassy  there are many things u will never be

the main one clearly:  a next-gen borscht slinger

indentured to a rotund man who doesn’t read

__

Winter 2022  for L.A.  ..A MAN..

apeocalypse now??

this maskless madness  mired+stink

these apepoliticos  naked+criminal

playing with our  peace+order  badbitchgovtsrule

think fordsy justin old man biden  harmless+enfeeble

grandmaster putin knows this   (who doesn’t?)

it’s his 15 minutes on the world stage

to push the red button or not to push the red button?  is

that the question?  or is it: how many bloody revolutions will

it take  where powermongers  rape+pillage rape+pillage

landed gentry replaced with garchsters in  GIANT YACHTS

who rape+pillage+pillage  how many times can the proles

be junta-ed?

okay okay  final question !

how many despots does it take to change a lightbulb?  the

definition of insanity is: giving putin trump et al.  le grande

nuclear lightbulb   +expecting a different outcome

but wait!  who gave the order

to nuke Hiroshima?

riddle me that

__

“this barrenness  this fellowship of the doomed   old men

in gaitered sleeves  the reek of stale beer  stained sepia

rude imposters..  (Sutree 1979 Cormac McCarthy)

Winter 2022  .. we’ve come so far ..    !!

66,000 deaths, 69,000 injured at Hiroshima.

At Nagasaki 39,000 deaths, 25,000 injured. 

the dead would take the living with them if they could

they do  of course  for the rest of our lives up here

they walk with us  dreamed+undreamed  sometimes

in a wristwatch  in a lightflicker  a shadowman in a chair

(but didn’t i just leave you in a hospital bed??)

up here we live out our days

inglorious bastards   primed

for more   until none

but before that we go through motions  every goddamned

March  it snows again  blows  we walk quickly  windbent  bitter

we change clocks as though we own time     don’t we??

kidnap the minutes u lost  when your brother spoke   but u

couldn’t listen to another  lunch   6 dollars!  6 dollars!

he smiles   knowingly   imp+okay

we were working on the art of conversation  just before  he

went away:   ok Mart  now it’s my turn to say    now u ask a

question   pretend interest    now it’s your turn  +suchwise

6 dollars!  6 dollars!

10 tacos  beans+rice

the whole enchilada

6 dollars ape!

enough said

__

Winter 2022  ..spring come she will?..