songanddancegirl

great escape my asssss!

i tried

i really did

went oceanscape  +shitscared?

not really  i just left it  too late

to leave my

doctor

dentist

+undertaker (a ghoulish phoney)

the sailors teared up when i left

and the whales sound out my name

to this day

they  my new family  giantmammalian  +reeking

blubbery mobys  farewell !

recently my boisterous doc  snide (but not whiplash)

said:  there are a lot worse tests than the one i have

ordered  for u

i’ve had a few

my bros too

one  took too many benzos  pre-insertion

and bludgeoned the too happy crossing guard

at Queen+Shaw  to death

(somewhat thankfully)

__

O the mammalian ludicrosities!

William Faulkner  As I Lay Dying 1930

Spring 2022  ..finally over Mick..

Age-itator? Age-itraitor?

NO  i do not have a problem with  AGING

fer chrissakes  it’s just a passage of time thing   people!

always leaning melancholic  introvert+limpid  in a

world where:  SILENCE is golden  dead

along with:

God

the supply chain

+parts of Ukraine

did i ask to know  that each decade’s passing  nails u

to the cross-road   time takes a cigarette   time takes

a lifetime    time the consummate taker

takes ferociously

as i ruminate  people around me say: you have a problem

with AGING !  protesting too much against my cassandramouth

potty-confessions

professions of poignancy

TIME is grief   i am here  in this veinybody  spent  spatout

still ticking    +almost prancing  with the  dark prince 👠👠👠

DYING IS NOT FOR SISSIES !

u heard it here

____

Spring 2022  ..soon they will pay me to be alive..😱OAP+CPP KMA

my final narcissist

(*be the fucking candle)

is this like the last temptation of Christ?  sort of

yes  narcissists are  so tempting  larger than life

drama kings+queens of  ME ME ME

okay  let’s both share a memory   ME FIRST !

(39 minutes later)   GOTTA GO !!

this morning i find myself dancing with one   ghostdisco heaven

we had us some fun   price too high though

as in:  no real reciprocation of martyrdom

(going to the wall  alone  gets tired)

lovely

beautiful

charming

funnnny

vs. me:  my holes are empty  chomp chomp

but i loved them all  quite passionately  a larger

than life bro   hey i know what you should

write about!       ME 

(u cannot imagine the beautiful)

here i sit with my final narcissist  still

not sure  if i am recognized as  separate

so deep the   partiçipation mystique

mirror mirror on her wall  2 images!  mine wilting

 you really need to gain some weight   you’re

disappearing   (into me)    girl

__

Spring  2022  ..get off of my cloud..

middleclass repo

the girls of the manor  were not manorborn

but highly aspirational  homes schlocky+borcsht

minuscule chandelier hell

mothers in skintight froufrou kitten-heeled hos

serving dainties  rude gossip  but not us   NO!

we were middleclass repo

always intense  slimtrim goddessy mother  linebacker father

in cashmeretweed  corduroy fedora   but mostly

windshell  +Landry

horses football dogs bros  the fatted fillies in frills

gnarly with envy  trust me   if you’re smart  bookish

coltish  +sassy  there are many things u will never be

the main one clearly:  a next-gen borscht slinger

indentured to a rotund man who doesn’t read

__

Winter 2022  for L.A.  ..A MAN..

apeocalypse now??

this maskless madness  mired+stink

these apepoliticos  naked+criminal

playing with our  peace+order  badbitchgovtsrule

think fordsy justin old man biden  harmless+enfeeble

grandmaster putin knows this   (who doesn’t?)

it’s his 15 minutes on the world stage

to push the red button or not to push the red button?  is

that the question?  or is it: how many bloody revolutions will

it take  where powermongers  rape+pillage rape+pillage

landed gentry replaced with garchsters in  GIANT YACHTS

who rape+pillage+pillage  how many times can the proles

be junta-ed?

okay okay  final question !

how many despots does it take to change a lightbulb?  the

definition of insanity is: giving putin trump et al.  le grande

nuclear lightbulb   +expecting a different outcome

but wait!  who gave the order

to nuke Hiroshima?

riddle me that

__

“this barrenness  this fellowship of the doomed   old men

in gaitered sleeves  the reek of stale beer  stained sepia

rude imposters..  (Sutree 1979 Cormac McCarthy)

Winter 2022  .. we’ve come so far ..    !!

66,000 deaths, 69,000 injured at Hiroshima.

At Nagasaki 39,000 deaths, 25,000 injured. 

the dead would take the living with them if they could

they do  of course  for the rest of our lives up here

they walk with us  dreamed+undreamed  sometimes

in a wristwatch  in a lightflicker  a shadowman in a chair

(but didn’t i just leave you in a hospital bed??)

up here we live out our days

inglorious bastards   primed

for more   until none

but before that we go through motions  every goddamned

March  it snows again  blows  we walk quickly  windbent  bitter

we change clocks as though we own time     don’t we??

kidnap the minutes u lost  when your brother spoke   but u

couldn’t listen to another  lunch   6 dollars!  6 dollars!

he smiles   knowingly   imp+okay

we were working on the art of conversation  just before  he

went away:   ok Mart  now it’s my turn to say    now u ask a

question   pretend interest    now it’s your turn  +suchwise

6 dollars!  6 dollars!

10 tacos  beans+rice

the whole enchilada

6 dollars ape!

enough said

__

Winter 2022  ..spring come she will?..

nowhere to run nowhere to hide

are u old enough to remember  in hallways crouching?

sirens wailing  bombdrills circa 1965    banthebomb

they didn’t let us use our survival instincts  (duh)

hide under my desk    yes!

good girl  quick as a mouse

like the one u spied at Eaton’s

by your beautiful mother’s shoe  sniffing nibbling

AGE IS NOT JUST A NUMBER

are u old enough to remember children  into closets  shoved

minutes to spare   knock at the door  we’ll be back  soon 

cheese wrapped in cellophane   mousetraps bare

4 yrs later  bones  +a stench  parents detained at Auschwitz

yesterday an 11 yr old boy with a sign  on a train:  my mother

couldn’t come   please take me  

what does standing in solidarity mean?  what if everyone in the

WORLD  had donned the yellow star?  presidents  popes queens?

what if we all shout the word  GAY  (banned in Florida yesterday)

from megaphones?

if not now when?

how many bombings

of children’s cancerwards

can old joe biden take?

__

(are tanks not weapons of mass destruction??!)

Winter 2022  ..there is everything to fear ..even fear itself..

*today is the anniversary of LBJ’S ok to Napalm ..the horror the horror..

one of the most horrific military inventions in history ..

where’s yer moses now*

there would appear to be

a dearth of saviours

how is it that tanks are racing toward the capitol

of a European city  as 700,000 people flee  to

Poland +beyond   we don’t see  any yellow stars   yet

what we are used to seeing:

“black brown yellow orange red”

dying  +shred

bombs  landmines  lines of said refugees

but here they look like  white  us  in puffer coats from GAP

lining up  crying at railroads  take only what you can carry

in one bag

men to the left  women to the right   all Ukraine men from

18-60   must stay  +fight

Putined

more rockets on the way  another mass murderer  short+quite insane

into a bunker soon  where the ghosts of Braun +Adolph  slink   stink

__

racist colour blocking:

René Lesson in 1847 presented a division into six groups based on simple color adjectives: White (Caucasian), Dusky (Indian), Orange-colored (Malay), Yellow (Mongoloid), Red (Carib and American), Black (Negroid).

Winter 2022

*Dathan  Ten Commandments  Edward G. Robinson

no shit no lotus

beyond a certain point in life who is not

hitching a ride with the reaper?  he who

approaches unbelled

a 40 something guy  grasped by dirtyfingers

right off of the rink  the perfect all Canadian

death   eh

a witness later said to me: better to go down 

that way than on the toilet  he really said this

but then  his dreams are filled with shitcreeks  +paddles

makes sense  ’cause he’s a voyageur  bravely

paddling the river of no return  everysingleday

sound familiar?

don’t worry too much

about your paddling skills

shitfloats

__

..the river lies in a grail of quietude..dead waste +condoms

+fruitrinds ..that rear from the fecal mire..dear friend the reap

is not to be dwelt upon..for it is by suchwise that he is invited in..

(Cormac McCarthy  Suttree  1979)

Winter 2022  ..survival of the fittest eh..

mark lanegan blues

there’s something to be said for the wild   for the bacchanal

squandering your light for darkness  revel in your  abandon

my punk poet grungeguy died of covid   coma+eviscerate

ribs broken  fell while dropkicking the round orb with nails

his wife declined the proffered trache  lest it destroy his

gravelpit voice

i didn’t cry for Bowie  but this unglam rocker  got in

in my squandered dreams i wanna be like him  not 35 yrs

a slave  to: mortgage marriage +monog   i took the road most

travelled    fucccck

troubadour visions on a pyre of tradition  in like a lion  out like a

failedrebel   ouchhh   okay  still time to worship  the debauch

all is not lost     yet

__

..whatever was in this shitwagon i’d caught a ride on, it was

no joke.. this thing was trying to dismantle me  body+soul..

(Mark Lanegan on his deathbed this week)

Winter 2022  ..RIP M.L. raising hell in heaven..